Evans Cycles

Man/lady goes into shop to buy bike.

Shop sells bike to man/lady.

Man/lady has bike.

Man/lady is happy.

True story.

Man/lady goes into shop to buy bike.

Shop sells bike to man/lady.

Man/lady has bike.

Man/lady is happy.

True story.

Hermaphrodite cyclists flock to Evans for great service.

2010 - all about niche marketing.

Man/lady goes into shop to buy bike.

Shop sells bike to man/lady.

Man/lady has bike.

Man/lady is happy.

True story.

It was just nice to have a bike shop experience for once that wasn't akin to the sort you normally get from trying to shop in an 'independent' record shop.

It was just nice to have a bike shop experience for once that wasn't akin to the sort you normally get from trying to shop in an 'independent' record shop.

I used the word shop too many times in that sentence.

I don't want to say anything bad about Evans, but I was in there once looking for a fixie skidder bike and was set upon by the staff, they dragged me into the basement where, one by one, they 'sex attacked' me to the music of 'The Black Eye Peas'.

I was then killed and my badly bummed body hidden in the undergrowth outside SAINSBURYS.

Just saying.

The guys in Evans/Clapham have always been good to me... let me try out a bunch of saddles before committing and happy to price match. Also turned me on to Mule Bars, mmmmmm.....

and if I hadn't found him and pumped him back up with special air from BLB he would never have survived the killing

I don't want to say anything bad about Evans, but I was in there once looking for a fixie skidder bike and was set upon by the staff, they dragged me into the basement where, one by one, they 'sex attacked' me to the music of 'The Black Eye Peas'.

I was then killed and my badly bummed body hidden in the undergrowth outside SAINSBURYS.

Just saying.

Looks like I only got their 'silver star' service then.
Sugarbabes soundtrack and then they left me outside TESCO.

Looks like I only got their 'silver star' service then.
Sugarbabes soundtrack and then they left me outside TESCO.

You sure it wasn't their brown star service?

I once used Evans...it was through a bike to work scheme, and they were RUBBISH beyond belief. waited over two months for my bike that should have arrived within 2 weeks!!
it only turned up after a weeks worth of phone calls.....and even then in was built inncorrectly (gears all set up wrong, puncture, burred seat post bolt.....)
I'll never shop there ever again.....not that it'll make a difference to them.....just out of principle!!

Moan over...

I don't want to say anything bad about Evans, but I was in there once looking for a fixie skidder bike and was set upon by the staff, they dragged me into the basement where, one by one, they 'sex attacked' me to the music of 'The Black Eye Peas'.

I was then killed and my badly bummed body hidden in the undergrowth outside SAINSBURYS.

Just saying.

Tynan, that's awful. It wasn't 'My Humps' was it?

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surely it was....

[ame="http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2psfu_black-eyed-peas-pump-it_music"]The Black Eyed Peas - Pump It - Vidéo Dailymotion@@AMEPARAM@@http://www.dailymotion.com/swf/video@@AMEPARAM@@video[/ame]

It's always good to hear about shops giving such good service.

I don't want to say anything bad about Evans, but I was in there once looking for a fixie skidder bike and was set upon by the staff, they dragged me into the basement where, one by one, they 'sex attacked' me to the music of 'The Black Eye Peas'.

I was then killed and my badly bummed body hidden in the undergrowth outside SAINSBURYS.

Just saying.

tynan, I don't want to say anything bad about you, but we'd rather hear about what really happened than what you imagined happened because you really wanted it to happen. Just saying.

I like Evans. Where else on the high street are you going to find anything in a size 32*?

*GA2G pays me to go there and pick up "sexy outfits in a village hall stylee" for him, which he then wears during his night-shifts while he's compiling lists.

I like Evans. Where else on the high street are you going to find anything in a size 32*?

*GA2G pays me to go there and pick up "sexy outfits in a village hall stylee" for him, which he then wears during his night-shifts while he's compiling lists.

Do you still get the cheap bike bags for him and sell them to him as 'functional cycling underwear'?

That's an urban myth.

By the way, I picked up those crotchless panties you wanted for your mystery rides to West London…

Was this a fella called pete? Nice chap.

Evans on the whole however are a bunch of cunts. They are such a cold corporate machine.

Was this a fella called pete? Nice fellow.

Evans on the whole however are a bunch of cunts. They are such a cold corporate machine.

get back to the USSR you hippy

get back to the USSR you hippy

fuck the system man, don't be bogarting my bong

fuck the system man, don't be bogarting my bong

where were you in 89? selling Socialist Worker outside a tube station while the wall came down? Lech Walesssa must be turning in his grave

where were you in 89? selling Socialist Worker outside a tube station while the wall came down? Lech Walesssa must be turning in his grave

contemporise dude, don't be vibing on that history riff man, mother earth is crying out for help

contemporise dude, don't be vibing on that history riff man, mother earth is crying out for help

WTf are you on about you drug addled nonce? get a fucking job and then you can tell me about peace you shit eating teepee building whippet stroker

WTf are you on about you drug addled nonce? get a fucking job and then you can tell me about peace you shit eating teepee building whippet stroker

dude don't be so cold man, open your heart to love man, don't be scared to kiss a flower