What is a hipster? Look at this fucking hipster...

By the way, they're Zaporozhian Cossacks (from Dnieper river not Don), so they were the subjects of the Commonwealth (Poles) and not Moscow. My bad. I didn't know the painter was Ukrainian - I had him as a main Russian realist.

Can someone ask scorch to translate it? This is the letter to the Ottoman Turks they're writing in that picture - which is lexically very close to the language used on this forum:

Quote:

Запоріжські козаки турецькому султану! Ти, султан, чорт турецкий, і проклятого чорта брат і товариш, самого Люцеперя секретарь. Якій ти в чорта лицарь, коли голою сракою їжака не вб’єш!?. Чорт висирає, а твоє військо пожирає.

Не будеш ти, сукін ти сину, синів христіянських під собой мати, твойого війска ми не боімось, землею і водою будем биться з тобою, распройоб твою мать.
Вавилоньский ты кухарь, Макидоньский колесник, Іерусалимський бравирник, Александрійський козолуп, Великого и Малого Египту свинар, Армянська свиня, подолянська злодиюка, Татарський сагайдак, каменецький кат, самого гаспида онук і у всего світу і підсвіту блазень, а нашого Бога дурень, свиняча морда, кобиляча срака, різницький собака, нехрещений лоб, мать твою в’йоб! Самого гаспида внук и нашого хуя крюк.
От так тобі запорожці висказали, плюгавче. Не будешь ти і свиней христіанских пасти. Тепер кончаємо, бо числа не знаємо і календаря не маємо, місяць у небі, рік у князя, а день такий у нас, який і у Вас, за це поцілуй в сраку нас!
Підписали: Кошовий атаман Іван Сірко зо всім кошем Запоріжськім
Quote:

 Zaporozhian Cossacks to the Turkish Sultan!

Thou art a turkish imp, the damned devil's brother and friend, and a secretary to Lucifer himself. What the devil kind of knight art thou that cannot slay a hedgehog with your naked arse? The devil shits, and your army eats. Thou a son of a bitch wilt not ever make subjects of Christian sons; we have no fear of your army, by land and by sea we will battle with thee, fuck thy mother.
Thou art the Babylonian scullion, Macedonian wheelwright, brewer of Jerusalem, goat-fucker of Alexandria, swineherd of Greater and Lesser Egypt, Armenian pig, Podolian villain, catamite of Tartary, hangman of Kamyanets, and fool of all the world and underworld, a fool before our God, a grandson of the Serpent, and the crick in our dick. Pig's snout, mare's arse, slaughterhouse cur, unchristened brow, screw thine own mother!
So the Zaporozhians declare, you lowlife. Thou wilt not even be herding Christian pigs. Now we shall conclude, for we don't know the date and don't have a calendar; the moon's in the sky, the year in the book, the day's the same over here as it is over there; for this kiss our arse!
Koshovyi Otaman Ivan Sirko, with the whole Zaporozhian Host

Ooh! I get a secretary!

We should appropriate these as forum insults, rather then melts, blends or silly cucumbers.

http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l5grriHK1d1qzzhzdo1_500.jpg

This could be such a lovely cliche if he had a Sarmatian's cut and a mo.

weird, innit

hehe he's a bit porky...and is that a fake tattoo?

Once my little one's asleep, I'm gonna photochop him some proper facial hair. Right now it's a disgrace (no offence, Josh).

huh!

Shut up Josh, you swineherd of Greater and Lesser Egypt!

Brewer of Jerusalem!

http://www.lfgss.com/thread28382.html

What do you expect? They're all either stoners or designers.

Thou art a turkish imp, the damned devil's brother and friend, and a secretary to Lucifer himself. What the devil kind of knight art thou that cannot slay a hedgehog with your naked arse?]

Lucy, you've blogged much about the dark world of reprographics, why have you never mentioned hedgehogs?

That's a pretty perfect likeness. :)

True dat. I'm about as hip as a 19th century Don Cossack, mind you.

True dat. I'm about as hip as a 19th century Don Cossack, mind you.

That's why I'd never post your likeness in this thread apart from scientific comparative discourse about Cossacks.
Good thing I haven't deleted the backup jpeg (only RAW from the main memory card), because I really like how it came out :-P

Aye, I look surprisingly unhideous in it. Is there any chance of blagging a copy? The mother's always after pics of me and I usually look gankin'.

We've just had a conversation with DJ and Skydancer about some SPD flip-flops...

looks like the cock Russell Brand

He's shaven for the remake of "Arthur"

He's shaven because he's a pussy.

fixed

Hipster will never look like this - Cossacks were hardcore. If a hipster so much as smirks "Yeah I was thinking about doing a t-shirt mashup of the Don Horde and Prince", a 9 foot tall skinhead with a moustache like GG Allin's will leap out of the shadows and shout "NYET! NYET!" while beating their face until it's shaped like a wok.

We've just had a conversation with DJ and Skydancer about some SPD flip-flops...

Wanker!

why the russel hate?

Can't speak for everyone, but in my case: He's an unfunny megalomaniac who's popularity seems to be entirely manufactured and dependent on him being risqué, but he ultimately fails at even that. His "comedy" seems to be little more than him commenting on things that are usually already funny, and therefore coasting on the laughter of that.