Bike Anti-Porn - When Things Go Wrong

What are they thinking! Baaaaaarf 🤢 🤮

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Great video game reference though.

Dazzle eyecancer

Don't mind this one so much - actual race bikes are supposed to be gaudy.

4,5 Scoblebricks saddle to bar drop...

Ticks all the boxes except for rainbow tyres & cassette

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Didn't know where to post this, Epic WTF or the motor bike thread, but here seems as good a place as any. Is that a lawn mower engine? It can't be legal, and it's hardly discreet is it, how has Old Bill not pulled and condemned this death-trap/monstrosity?

You can buy a kit from AliExpress.

Lots of those in my town, usually piloted by angry recently licence-bereaved men.

Blimey really, do not want. I just look at it and can't un-see a snapped chain and horrific castration and inside leg threshing incident.

Is that a chain-un-tensioner?

nightmare fuel

Didn’t notice the Brooks saddle and (presumably) tape at first.

It’s a gift that keeps on giving.

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Condor-Baracchi-Road-Bike/233880445384?hash=item36745c61c8:g:QmcAAOSwRJNgF~VZ

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Wow, wasn't expecting that. That's thoroughly put the thread back on track! How to get your build wrong 101.

Builds a clown bike and has the gall to request 'serious buyers only'.

"minimalistic"

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That's not tooooo bad for a car manufacturer produced bike. Apart from the fact that it looks like it's been ridden into a wall obvs.

Looks like it's struggling with that last press-up.

Fuck me that’s horrible. Excellent find.

'sensual purity'
car brand bollocks can gtfo

The bike is about as bad as you would expect, but the text is truly next-level wank. Martin Bremer needs to have a serious look at himself. His LinkedIn is just as bad:

"Design beyond the car - design makes the brand values ​​of our company an emotional experience. Based on the design philosophy, which is expressed in the products that primarily function as brand ambassadors - our vehicles - my team and I answer the design questions that arise beyond the vehicle. In view of this holistic approach, we shape the appearance of our brand identity, a large number of products from Mercedes-Benz Accessories GmbH and the products that result from cooperation within the framework of Mercedes-Benz Style"

That's pretty much a full card on marketing bullshit bingo

I’m loving the Moots insta at the moment. Whoever is doing their social media is making a right hash of it, blurry AF (and straight up out of focus) content all over the place.

That looks very much like an Argon 18 Krypton Pro

Yeah it is -sprayed it silver - wrote some utter wank - rolly eye emoji