Black and white condor, brakeless - is it you???

Barnard marcus did me proud with my flat. and the landlady is safe as houses. (Ho ho ho). But they're still hopeless - its almost been a month and they haven't even managed to get the tenancy agreement sent to my guarantor. And they ring ME up to complain about it! I'm not my own guarantor, its not my fault!

Edmund: everything in black and white is evil.

paraphrase bill hicks -

"By the way if anyone here is an estate agent... kill yourself.

No, no, no it's just a little thought. I'm just trying to plant seeds. Maybe one day, they'll take root - I don't know. You try, you do what you can. Kill yourself.

Seriously though, if you are, do.

Aaah, no really, there's no rationalisation for what you do and you are Satan's little helpers. Okay - kill yourself - seriously. You are the ruiner of all things good, seriously. No this is not a joke, you're going, "there's going to be a joke coming," there's no fucking joke coming. You are Satan's spawn filling the world with bile and garbage. You are fucked and you are fucking us. Kill yourself. It's the only way to save your fucking soul, kill yourself."

that was pretty much word perfect, not paraphrased!

swapped "work in advertising" for "estate agent".

rest is verbatim.

ah, of course

it's kind of right..

except there is the odd nice estate agent (most are just doing it before moving career) whereas advertising is the Devil's helmet:

constantly pushing against the unyielding anus of society.

i've not met these odd nice estate agents. on the other hand, i have met vast numbers of evil ones.

May I add Stirling Ackroyd to the sh-hit list.