I love...

I'll get your coat

My brother had his wallet returned after he was burgled recently. Whoever had broken in had gone through the wallet, taken the cash and ditched the rest. Someone found it and put it in a postbox and it turned up at his house a few days later. (Apparently that's a thing royal mail do).
In contrast to that, I dropped a wallet in the street years ago and didn't notice until later. I reported it to the police, left them a detailed description of the very distinctive wallet and my phone number. I never heard anything from the police but called them a week or so later to enquire, to be told not to call again and they'd ring me if it turned up. A few weeks later I checked the "other" messages on Facebook to see that somebody had sent me a message the day I'd lost it to say they'd found my wallet and handed it in to the police. I called the police to enquire and they told me that they'd incinerated the wallet, despite having my description of it on file and it containing my driving licence with my address on.
The moral of the story is, defund the police and give post office workers their horses and guns or something I suppose.

A few weeks later I checked the "other" messages on Facebook to see that somebody had sent me a message the day I'd lost it to say they'd found my wallet

That happened to me once as well!

It is so easy nowadays to trace someone from bank cards etc. that it surprises me how little the police staff do to trace owners.
In the days when the front desk was run 24 hrs a day by the old coppers who were too ill to be allowed out on the streets things were actually done right. They've all been replaced by civilian staff who couldn't care less what happens to anything.

Timber by Ke$ha and the Waka Waka song by Shakira and Ai Se Eu Te Pego by Michel telo

i learned portuguese from it

Greek salad

Waka Waka

Shutting the door on drivers before they can try to squeeze between you and an island.

You a brummie by any chance?

Nah, South Londoner
Are drivers that bad in 0121

Ahh okay. Thought ‘island’ was a Birmingham colloquialism and so wasn’t sure everyone would know what you were referring to.

Seems I was wrong.

Edit:
https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?t=1267171

You are right, island is the Brum colloquialism for roundabout. I have a pet Black Country girl....

I think he was referring to those little double bollard thingies that give pedestrians an illusion of safety.

Ha! So I was the one that didn't get it...

I thought he was talking about not letting people onto a 'roundabout' . Now I understand - on your bike, car tries to go round you, then can't etc.... Yeah that is fun.

Ignore me, I'll leave...

Always interesting to learn some new words/slang

love putting the bins out at like 11 and its still warm enough for shorts and t shirt

for me, the real dream is a fully exposed penis, testicles and anus when putting the bins out

It feels so wrong and yet so right.

Still wearing a t shirt though

i'd probably wear 'reverse shorts'

heavily clothed except the waist-knee zone. gloves, scarf, wellies, top hat, enormous puffa jacket

It's what you were rocking when I dropped those brakes off, and for good reason.

if i've paid to hire the outfit i may as well get my money's worth

Summer pudding

neil young

A hardboiled egg

Such a simple pleasure