I hate

Shitehawk.

Email auto signatures

Particularly the ones that use some sort of faux handwriting/script font. What's the fucking point if its barely legible?

And those wankers who format the whole email so it looks like its on a page of a note book, with a spiral bound spine and everything.

^ Those people in tech with Microsoft and other inane fucking certification that insist on putting letters after their name in their email signature.

William Anker MCSA MVP CCNA

You're not a fucking doctor.

But it means you can tell they are a CNUT+

I have a soft spot for businesses who still have signs with "01" on them

Me too. Gives you an idea how long they've been established.

^ Those people in tech with Microsoft and other inane fucking certification that insist on putting letters after their name in their email signature.

William Anker MCSA MVP CCNA

You're not a fucking doctor.

The one cock who used to do that here didn't realise we all knew his Cisco qualifications had all expired. But then self-awareness was not his thing.

cleaning my bike after riding in the rain

that mirthless, lumpy-faced bell-end, micky flanagan

most of the revolving panel on mock the week as well..

Comedians who make one line jokes.

^ Not a fan of comedy then?

Oh I like comedy, but they one's who'll happily bang out one liners again and again and again for hours on end can gtfo

They usually have one on Mock the Week

that mirthless, lumpy-faced bell-end, micky flanagan

I'm not his biggest fan, but it should be mentioned he got where he is by writing jokes for other comics, which is a damn sight better than all the rada graduates who just buy jokes.

His voice is annoying though.

Me too. Gives you an idea how long they've been established.

There's a piano tuner near me who puts his phone number as "Wimbledon 0010"

When my brother sits in the living room playing minecraft and skyping with his friends constantly talking loudly and excitedly as if we aren't trying to watch TV.

STFU you inconsiderate fool.

People that ask for sponsorship for events that they should just pay their own entry fee and costs for.

Please sponsor me to ride 50 miles in the dark with two meal stops at a pace of 10mph or run 13 miles along a course with bands playing every 5 miles.

Lazy fuckers.

The way my wife tells people mobile numbers.

She says 07 123 12 34 56

When it should be 07123 123 45

I say

078 178 9%!£9

(ingeniously disguised from my actual number)

rather than

07817 89% !£9

because the first sets of 3 work better than way

but everyone gets confused and doesn't like it

/csb

House numbers are

0208 123 4567

Nonlondon is said like mobiles

Why has "(not) sighted" replaced words like "aware (of)" or "read"?

i.e. "I am not sighted on that report", "Once I am sighted on it we can proceed".

never sighted that before. glad I don't work where you work...

pretentious pricks

Throwing my guts up for four hours for no reason I can fathom.

I want to pay for petrol. Put that fucking basket with bread, milk, eggs, Hobnobs and M&S ready meal back, you twat.

A speed camera in a 40 mph zone doesn't automatically oblige you to drive at 17 mph. Get out of the way, Micra, you're drunk!

I think I hate driving. I like overtaking, though.