I hate

I blame mountainbikers

Don’t, it’s Big Sealant who is behind this, the poor mountainbikers are innocent victims.

I’ve never had a tubeless issue either. But that might be because I’ve never had a set of tubeless wheels.

i only ride off road these days and like tubeless

blame me

where is that twat that started the tubeless thread?

Still trying to get a tubeless tyre onto a rim?

Menthol in shaving gel. I really fancy a cold, burning sensation on my face while I shave, surely nobody in their right mind said ever. But there it is, in almost all shaving gels, so most of you sickos must like it.

I haven't had a clean shave in years but when I did it was with an electric razor. I cannot imagine why people still drag blades across their faces.

I can recommend Percy Nobleman shaving cream as an alternative with no menthol in it. Full disclosure, it is my mate's company, but I mainly use it because I like the smell.

Because they have mansized blades of hair sticking out of their face.

I used to use the predecessor of this BITD
https://www.thebodyshop.com/en-gb/face/mens-grooming/maca-root-aloe-softening-shaving-cream-for-men/p/p002836

Really nice and none of the bs you mentioned.

I use https://www.sainsburys.co.uk/gol-ui/product/nivea-for-men-sensitive-shaving-foam--soothing-200ml

Unless they're playing games with the ingredient names there's no menthol and no stinging.

I haven't had a clean shave in years but when I did it was with an electric razor. I cannot imagine why people still drag blades across their faces.

A closer shave.

(But then I shave once a month so have to do a combination of clippers and then a wet shave. Every electric razor I've tried just doesn't get a close shave, maybe it's my pores or my infrequent shaving...)

Arko in our house, cheap and no stinging

https://www.theenglishshavingcompany.com/en_gb/arko-shaving-soap-stick-75g.html

When I was young and beautiful I used to buy the Clinique Aloe Shave gel. Nice but spendy. Now my youthful good looks have turned to blotchy alcohol ravaged crevices I use any old shit. Whatever is cheapest...

Second the Clinique. For an unparalleled shaving sensation where nothing comes closer.

I really fancy a cold, burning sensation on my face while I shave

Try shaving with a cutthroat just after you've chopped chili without properly scrubbing your hands. And then, as your mistake becomes bitingly clear, realise you put your contact lenses in without having properly neutralised the deep cleansing solution they'd been sitting in all night and you really need to get them out of your eyes right now.

Or don't. Particularly if your GP is as sarcastic as mine was.

I once sat in the passenger seat of a mates car as he dry shaved with a cutthroat razor, whilst driving in the fast lane on the m4. It was a nervous journey

You might have had a hard time convincing the police of your innocence, if that had gone wrong.

It was a nervous journey

I can imagine - I always get twitchy when heading toward Swindon

Try hair conditioner for a smooth shave that smells neutral-ish and hydrates your skin instead of drying it out.

People saying “5 minutes” for anything from 2-15 minutes.

3x the measurement isn’t really a helpful approximation.

I often say 7mins, because 5 or 10 minutes can mean anything from 1min to 20min.

In reality "5 min" in English means "wait for me to finish". It is not a measure of time.

Reminds me of the South African variations of "now".

Like the Latin American’ahorita’.

Hora- hour, or the time of day.
Ahora- now, nowadays.
Ahora mismo- this very moment.
Ahorita- diminutive now,this moment, in a moment, when I get to it, I intend to do it soon but might forget.
Ahorita ahorita- usually a commanding right now.

Mum: Do your homework.
Child playing videogames: Yep I’ll do it ahorita.
Mum, moving in front of tv and pointing to desk: You’ll do it ahorita ahorita.

Noisy kettles.

Staying in a cottage. Child no1 is a awake so I'm downstairs with them. Knackered and want a coffee.

THAT crackling popping is insane and had to bail. It's like a demon is summoning spirits from beyond.