I hate

Got to say I'm a bit baffled by the oven Stasi.

One should always return the oven shelves to the correct porition after use.

Think of it as a toilet seat.

Exactly.

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When my wife just gently places the lids on jars but doesn't bother the necessary 1/4 turn to tighten it up before putting it back in the cupboard often resulting in it going everywhere next time i go to grab it of the shelf.

All. The. Time.

"...but why would you grab it from the lid?!"

If its surrounded by other things in the cupboard especially behind something lifting it out just seems like the the easiest way to retrieve it

I'm with you! The quote is verbatim from my partner when exactly what you described happens to me! Most recently a jar of artichokes at the back of the fridge... Olive oil with bits went EVERYWHERE.

The fridge is worse than the cupboard because whatever has smashed a bit usually seeps under the fridge so you have to move it to do a proper clean up job

Food in jars without an airtight lid isn't going to last long is it ?

But they are in constant change of position depending on what is being cooked.

But they are in constant change of position depending on what is being cooked.

Surely you have a default position?

To be fair, this is not a hill I would choose to die on. In fact, it wasn't even my gripe originally. I do seem to have inadvertently opened a can of domestic worms though. Maybe we've all been spending too much time at home?

Very few hills in here actually worth dying on. Alhough I bloody hate hills.

Pro hygiene tip: do not think of oven shelves as toilet seats.

Pro hygiene tip: do not think of oven shelves as toilet seats.

It was conceptual, rather than practical advice.

One should always return the oven shelves to the correct porition after use.

What is the correct position?

Our oven situation is:

• 2 racks and 1 tray
  
• 7 positions (5 numbered slots, plus the base and on top of no5)
  
• offset racks enabling ½ height
  
  

What is the correct position?

I have 5 fixing positions for my oven shelves.

My default is one shelf on the lowest position (allowing the grill tray to live on the bottom), and the second shelf two positions higher (third from bottom, two from top).

This is how I like my shelves to be normally. Obviously I adjust them when grilling / braising etc., but this configuration works for me most days. Obviously, YMMV, but you did ask.

People who fuck about with the settings on the toaster.

My brother used to come round while I was out and eat toast but he'd always whack it up to max then pop it by some timer in his head or smell or some shit then leave it on max so I'd end up with burnt crumpets once a week or so, had to have a proper word where if it happened again he was banned from my kitchen. Thankfully he's moved to Hong Kong now and can't hurt me anymore. Couldn't give a shit about oven shelves though.

I have the opposite in my house. I have the toaster set on 3-4 and toast my crumpets twice. My son has his on 1-2. Many's the time my crumpets pop on his setting. I then have to try and work out how to achieve my version of crumpet toastiness having wasted the first attempt.

I'm telling you, it's toaster carnage out there.

At least you know when that's happened and can fix it, mine was inevitably when I'm late for work and doing a bunch of other stuff so just leave them going, expecting it to finish perfectly and end up with as burnt breakfast, absolute bastard behaviour.

On the toaster chat I remember chatting somone up at young Conservatives drinks party who descended into a full on DM heath and safety rant off the back of toaster chat. She would not believe that anyone should be able burn toast.

It took me ages to extract myself, and by the time I did it was too late to try and chat up anyone else.

Fucking miserable night.

But that's what you get for helping a tory mate with number for their party 🤷

👍

I'm a bit baffled by the oven Stasi.

The Gazpacho Police are much cooler.

I bought a fresh sack of layers pellets today (chicken feed) and, I shit you not, there was a big paragraph on the bag titled “instructions for use”.

Apparently this is not obvious. A bit like buying a blow torch and finding ‘do not use to dry pubic hair” written on it.

Also, chickens can't read ;)

Something something Vichyssoise apologists.