I hate

Microshit.

DoubleCrap, etc...

Football tekkers in general but particularly that skippy orbit the foot around the ball one.

Makes you look like a dick.

Insurance companies.

I've had to sort out my car insurance, home insurance and my girlfriend's pet insurance this morning. I came so close to chinning my laptop.

Edit: to clarify, my girlfriend is not some form of small furry creature, she is a totally normal human being who has a cat.

I wanted to cancel the auto renew as they tried to bump my premium by 22%, offered to redo the quote and came back with a 15% increase, told them to cancel it.
Then they tried to spin me the old 14 day cooling off period and that I should take it so I have insurance until I can sort something new out.
The whole call took 15 minutes.

5 minutes after that I had a new policy in place for less than last years cost.
(top tip, if you have time, do a comparison site, then go to the cheapest website and go again, usually its cheaper still)

I did pretty much that! Coincidentally my car insurance was already with Admiral and they were the cheapest quote for contents insurance as well, bundled those suckers together to get a further discount. What a rush.

Also, I've not even moved there yet but I already hate Bromley council. Trying to get a parking permit sorted for our new place in Penge. They won't issue one because the actual address is down a little alley way with no vehicle access and they won't recognise the fact that I'll need to park on the road that the alley comes off. My alternatives are park a 10 minute walk away or shell out £550 per year for parking at the station at the end of the road. Absolutely enormous first world problem I realise.

Bromley Council are universally despised in Penge. It’s a solid Labour enclave with a majority Tory council and there’s a feeling that Penge gets the shitty end of the stick.

Penge gets the shitty end of the stick.

Pure filth.

I knew I was right to be suspicious.

Contact your new/soon to be local councillors.

Remember the plan to build a Multiplex |Cinema at the top of Crystal Palace Park, dump on Penge.

I fucking hate moving house. I just remembered why I haven't done it in years.

Must say, I didn't enjoy moving the last time I did but, this area is alright!

I'm excited to have moved, it's just the actual process that's the problem, ha ha.

i think my hearing's shat so I h9 it when my wife starts muttering three rooms away while I'm cooking in the kitchen with 6 noisy devices going full blast and then thinks she's started a conversation.

barely audible muttering
-pause-
barely audible muttering
-pause-
-pause-
MIIIIIIKE?!?!!?!!!!
WHAT?!
barely audible muttering repeated

Yep, you probably need to visit a natural beauty spot to check it for yourself though.

I got a hearing test to settle a similar argument. I’ve been in bands since I was 15 so it was a sensible thing to do.

The test results showed that I had excellent hearing and was advised to return when I was 40. 40 passed by long before the test.

I only waved the excellent hearing results around for a couple of weeks

The (pointlessly unnecessary) Offsite Meeting (coming back.)
Hey team, we need to all be at the Dunstable Regus at 9 on Monday to meet the client team and present a spreadsheet THAT WE COULD DO OVER FUCKING VIDEO LIKE WE HAVE BEEN FOR MONTHS

Oh, and while we’re here, if you stir your coffee and keep tapping it on the cup with that metal spoon one more than the thirtieth fucking time...

Hearing test show my hearing to be ok*, but I'm fucked if I can hear anything if there's any background noise.

I put it down to ageing, and generally not giving a shit what people are saying.

Which I also put down to ageing.

* Not a proper test, just an online one. I do need to have a proper test done.

I have noise induced deafness, means I can’t hear much when there is any background noise. My family know this but they still expect me to hear them asking something from two rooms away whilst the washing machine and the radio are on in the kitchen.

^^ Ditto, precisely! Now I have a name for the problem I have been struggling with for years. At its worst in a crowded pub with echoing acoustics. Oddly, I can still hear a sparrow fart at 200m+ in quiet countryside and am always first to hear people talking in a woodland, is this consistent with you guys? Pardon? What?

A classic. Another favourite is someone asking me a question, me asking them to repeat it and then asking it at exactly the same volume, getting annoyed that I still can't hear.