I hate

“Service Update from Laundry Republic”

Oh an update is it? M8 I’ve been sitting in my underpants for a month, not looking for you to ruin another suit just yet, yeah?

i hate the smell of other people's fruit-flavoured yoghurts

reminds me of primary school packed lunches and scruffy kids with snotty noses and dry, flaky facial skin

Oh god yes. It also doesn't help that I don't like yoghurt to begin with!

scruffy kids with snotty noses and dry, flaky facial skin

Who eat with their mouths open, churning like a toothed cement mixer, schlack tschlock shlucking their way through a slurry of yoghurt, crisps and cheese strings.

The plastic fart smell of plastic lunch boxes.

Wot no bircher muesli?

Swiss chap clearly not Swiss

Next up you don’t yodel or like fondue

Shit I've been found out...

https://youtu.be/qvyaIhJzlP0

How about radio 4 comedy making fun of radio 4 drama?

pointlessly competitive cooking shows that bang on about "the brief".

I can imagine the variable quality of Paraguayan yoghurt
could be a contributory factor?

You’re talking about Great British Menu aren’t you? It infuriates me but my wife likes it.

How do they drag out that format over about four months?

Ditto Masterchef and it’s tedious spin offs.

Many years ago I used to enjoy MasterChef, I can't watch anything of that ilk now... YouTube Asian street food videos FTW, especially around breakfast time, mostly in Korea...

indeed.

the commentary is even more inane than soccer chat.

"dave really needs to pull out all the stops and give it 110% if he wants to make it through to the next round"

work people sharing their "help you concentrate and blur out the distractions of home" spotify playlists on slack.

You listen to phillip pissing glass all day long if you want mate, i'll be over here not suggesting you listen to shit 80s hair metal.

Many years ago I used to enjoy MasterChef

Loyd Grossman was ace wasn't he?

Randomly I use to really like watching the Aussie MC. So much nicer and genuinely positive.

Odd now I think about it, as I can't think of any Australians I've met like the ones in the show irl...

So as not to derail...

... Wtf is up with EVERYONE using the same faux- Zoom/Teams ad format with their employees?

It's really starting to get to me.

Has the social distancing prevented coke dealers from getting to ad "creatives"? Or was there some massive consolidation of every firm before C19 and only 3 people still work in the entire fucking industry?

iCloud Storage Almost Full.

• No it isn’t
  
  

Is this still available?

• No it isn’t
  

Advertisers and corporations spoon-feeding tripe to the populous.
You go through life taking this all in. Year by year their attempts to grab your attention get more and more extreme and perverse. Then one day your cerebral cortex goes all immune systemy and you just say f**k off. You sell your telly, put Adblock on your device, ban newspapers from your house, move to the country, only listen to Radio 3 & 4 (yes, it’s got that bad).
Life becomes peaceful and mellow. Things like Lockdown, choosing a coffee and celebs are like, meh.
Then your world is shattered. You are passed by a lorry bearing a new slogan. It’s from the place your parents shopped at when they dreamed of the staid, grey, dull lifestyle you are now living and it reads with sum total of all the marketing bullshit you read for years rolled into one sweet, wordy haymaker:
“M&S... The adventure starts here”.

Glorious

You sell your telly, put Adblock on your device, ban newspapers from your house, move to the country, only listen to Radio 3 & 4 (yes, it’s got that bad).

Hmm, still have telly but use Tivo so have effectively banned ads other than product placement, adblock/pihole everything, haven't bought a paper for years, move to Spain curtailed by C19, don't listen to any radio other than maybe a streamed Essential Mix and to avoid the last one I just stopped cycling outside. I've become a hermit.

M&S though - are they some kind of rock climbing company?

Marks and Spencer.

They were the first two guys to climb Everest, no?

(it was a joke about the adventure thing, nevermind)

Fixing lining in clothing.

Oh no, it cannot just be a tidy tear or hole: The sewing thread will win over the grid of the fabric and pull it apart in frayed strips.

As a bonus it is so thin it won't stay up properly when sowing.

I love fixing things (bikes/clothing) but this is the clothing equivalent of a stuck seatpost...

I’m cool with that. Thought I’d clarify though. Hopefully none of us will ever get so old as to be familiar with that style of shopping.

Soup. It's just diluted food.