I hate

Printers get in the bin too.

But really a presentation that is good in person is bad on paper. Non issue. Won't fix.

Sorry bud, only got a VGA connector on my laptop, what do you mean your project is hdmi only?

You should've uploaded it to the central server place or put it on a memory stick before you got here. Your presentation is cancelled, you're barred, 10 min coffee break for everyone else.

Ok, which share point site are we using for the uploads?

I assume some participants of this conversation are dialling in by conference call and that there will be long pauses followed by several people talking at once.

.

Sorry I was on mute.

@frankenbike is having trouble dialling in, let’s wait a couple of minutes for him.

He just sent me an IM....Apparently he can hear us but his audio is not working.

@frankenbike are you also on mute?

He just sent me an IM....Apparently he can hear us but his audio is not working.

[phasing sounds]

guys i have a hard stop at half past.

toilet flushes

Sorry I was on mute.

This.

guys i have a hard stop at the bottom of the hour

Dog barks

Wanking from home guys, get me on Teams

Guys! I've just heard about sway. We should definitely use it!

Sorry I'm just going to have to wait for the fire alarm test to stop.

One for @DethBeard

Colleagues who insist on talking to you about work shiz when you are having a piss

Fuck off I'm having a piss

turn and reply to them mid-stream and cover their beige chinos and suede fucking brogues in steaming hot manpiss?

Cry lol at online meeting shiz. It’s funny because it’s true.

I think this is the only valid response.
Maybe add a "yes? I do think that's a great, oh, sorry"

where the fuck were you running too in such a hurry this morning or is jogging down that hill just less effort than walking generally?

erm. I run to work now I work in Brixton. Up the hill, down the hill, down college road, into Brockwell.

Running down the hill is " challenging" in a different way to running up the fucker.
Also: I stink, so it's best to keep moving so I don't offend any one...

Not having a bath in my flat I ache coz I'm old want to lie in warm water in my own filth. Off to the public bath house.