I hate

Spot on. Been happening for decades to me. Funny how it wasn't in The Meaning Of Liff. Somewhere I have a load of examples of other un-named happenings that me and a friend compiled after reading that classic.

I work as a courier, I quite often deliver to offices with door bells outside. I normally assume that means the office is locked and I need to ring the bell so someone can let me in. I feel like a total dick every time I ring a door bell and someone has to get up to open an unlocked door for me.
Almost as bad is when I try the door first, only to found out it is locked after all, whilst making a huge banging sound that disturbs everyone in the office more than any door bell ever could.

People who use public toilets and the toilets themselves. For a start, why do pensioners never, and I mean NEVER wash their hands? I can't bring myself not to but what's the point if I have to touch the door handle that that crust old crusty just did? And that's the next point. Why do toilet doors open in? Is that not in contravention of fire regs? But what's more to the point, if they opened out I would be able to shoulder barge them when I leave so I don't have to handle a horrid handle.

Open it with your cock.

The accessible loo doors open out.
If you're talking about the main door, most room doors open in. And toilets are unlikely to have fires in. It's only really the main exit doors that have to open out.

why do pensioners never, and I mean NEVER wash their hands?

I think it was Alf Garnett that said he washes his hands before using the toilet " cos you don't want to get it dirty do you ?"

Yodel cunts pretending they rang the doorbell and left a card when they did absolutely nothing of the sort.

Yodel cunt

That was my first wife's nickname.

Delivery drivers earn fuck all. They probably race round to try and break minimum wage.

Hate Yodel by all means, not the people they force into cutting the odd corner.

Yes, unfortunately that doesn't change the fact that a service paid for was not provided, and on top of that there is just a bare-faced lie about what happened. Also, I live about as conveniently as could be, definitely no detours needed, house facing the road, etc. At this point, I just indiscriminately hate the entire company.

People proudly announcing how early they’ve flung themselves into the full Christmas spirit in a kitsch and ironic way.

I know we all need a distraction at the moment but it’s 1 December and some of them have been at it for a week now.

I refuse to have a tree up before the 18th.

Mine went up yesterday
I needed the cheer.

Yep, tree went up Sunday, ringtone changed to the chorus from that Slade song.

You’re all unremediable, Christmas obsessed kitsch-tropic tinsel junkies then. Decorate your tree by all means- but on Christmas Eve.

There's nothing cheery about a dying tree in your house. You wouldn't allow it at any other time of year. We have a 3 hour festive window on the 25th and I find that is plenty.

There's nothing cheery about a dying tree in your house.

True.

You wouldn't allow it at any other time of year.

Au contraire.

Went we left the UK we distributed our plants amongst my OH's friends and my mum. Friends-in-law had a near 100% mortality rate.

Fwiw we have now have a plastic tree for indoors and our middle class live potted tree resides in the garden.

I've been standing in the corner of our lounge wearing green knitwear since Halloween

I hope you have big shiny baubles, what colour scheme?

what colour scheme

bold stripes. theme overall is fifa 98. tree is topped with an enormous bixente lizarazu

got a small potted tree on sunday, is now decorated and lit in our front room. Only other Christmas decoration is a wreath on the inside of our front door, as I couldn't find a place to hang it on the outside.
If anyone wants a small Fir tree after christmas/beg of jan, let me know, yours for a small fee to give your garden some festive christmas cheer all year round.

Our tree went up (i.e., was brought in from the garden) and was decorated on 1st December. Various decorations are now liberally sprinkled round the house along with Poinsettias and Christmas candles. Carol CDs are on continuous loop and the cupboards are full of homemade mince pies and Christmas cake.

'tis the season motherfuckers!

Can't believe you're trying to palm off your secondhand Christmas tree on here... A new low! 😂😂😂

Lots of this!

If anyone has any use for a fuck load of torn up wrapping paper, I’ll have some freebies late dec/early jan. perfect for a beater present project.