I hate

yeah, then they sent Matthew home and all is forgiven

still. refreshing to see a white guy being given a chance to succeed.

Christmas music. There, I've said it.

Christmas music. There, I've said it.

ftfy

Gregory Porter

John Guinness.

Yep. That's my coat.

Take his fucking stupid hat with you.

Jacob Rees Mogg

His favourite Christmas present? "When I was about 17 my father gave me a glass phial containing some of the anointing oil from Queen Victoria’s Coronation.”

“Theresa May Prime Minister “My first bicycle.””

So she is a friend of @cornelius_blackfoot

Hogmanay, the Bells, Happy New Year.

Fuck. Off.

And while you are there punch that annoying twerp Jools Holland on the nose fur me, would ya?

Relax, stay in, watch all the end of the year quizzes and compilations. Then you’ll realise why everyone else has gone out.

Salmon coloured corduroy trousers and the people that wear them. I mean, come on. What exactly did they think they would match - except a nose that has been a transient neighbour to too much Remy Martin?

I don't watch him. Just to know he is out there and there is the tiniest, infinitesimal chance that our paths may cross is enough for me to get irrationally, uncharacteristically aggro'd. I feel the same way about Lloyd Webber too. I would probably apologise once I had done it, I'd serve me time too if he wasn't happy with the apology. I expect I would get a bit of publicity and respect in the slammer for it. After that it would fame, £££ for the book and movie. Then a musical....well, maybe not the last bit.

I'm gonna BMX poorly, drink streeties and do our traditional 0000 on top of a carpark to watch all the fireworks, good times.

Then I'll probably be drunk, decide to find a party and wake up in the afternoon somewhere I don't recognise after making new friends and taking their drugs and feel traditionally shit for the start of the year, getting too old times.

People who push out the middle blocks while playing Jenga

Over use of the 😂 emoji.

Not mad on using emojis generally, but crylol is such a great one for portraying crying with laughter that it's a shame it now gets used for any old thing.

I just can’t imagine a situation where one might be literally crying with laughter but also trying to compose a text message.

You've never lived.
🤣

ROFL

Grammarly ads.

Way, way too many of them atm.
And "i am reaching my dream goals with the help of a spell checker"
Feck off with your marketing buzz.

[spelling/syntax checkers are obv. great and important, but it is still just a bit of text checking!]

I don't see too many. They must be targeting you for some reason.