The Ultimate Brakeless/Front/Rear/How many brakes? thread

That operation isn't covered under NHS so will be quite expensive.

no problem. i'd go BUPA anyway

@chloedon

Where Emmeff and I were riding today, the headwind was soo strong the parachute idea might have actually worked.

Just carry a stick and jam it in between the spokes.

Alternatively, in case of emergency, break glass.

Or just use CrazyJames.

how do you stop a car if the brakes fail? how do you stop an oil tanker if the engines die? how do you escape the gravitational field of a heavenly body when your velocity is less than (2GM/r)^(1/2)?

important questions, i think we can agree. i, for one, won't be sleeping tonight.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MgpzUo_kbFY

I always ride with a second bike strapped to the front of my bike. If anything bad happens, I just hop off the bike and pedal in the opposite direction.

genius!

Thanks! I mean, the extra weight and difficulty of manoeuvring caused by the extra bike is a bit of a pain, but for that one time every 1,240,934,505,349 miles of riding where my chain snaps, it's a god send!

I ride with a fully functional jet pack strapped to my back and in the event of any mechanical faiure I hit the thrusters and propel myself suddenly skywards at 100 miles an hour.

I ride with a fully functional jet pack strapped to my back and in the event of any mechanical faiure I hit the thrusters and propel myself suddenly skywards at 100 miles an hour.

In a vest?

I think this would be a sign it was your time to shuffle of this mortal coil

Jump into the canal. Although not the Lea Bridge Canal – you'd just fall onto someone else's submerged bike. If this doesn't work, ride into one of the pikeys catching beer cans or maybe a flasher. Just watch out for his prong tho. And congratulations on the dad thing. And hi...

Jump off the back and ghost ride the whip.

[quote=lucas;798570
Where Emmeff and I were riding today, the headwind was soo strong the parachute idea might have actually worked.[/quote]

and in any case, if youre THAT out of control, you must be going at least 143mph, so then a parachute would work. wind, or no wind.

It's because of this fear that I'm going to make a fixed with double drive trains and 4 brakes... it will be the safest bike on the road... except I'll be riding it...

It's a bit like the weight arguement, doesn't matter how light your bike is, if you're a fat fucker... doesn't matter how good your breaks are, if you're a suicidal idiot.

In a vest?

I'm surprised you even need to ask me this, you know the answer.

It's because of this fear that I'm going to make a fixed with double drive trains and 4 brakes... it will be the safest bike on the road... except I'll be riding it...

It's a bit like the weight arguement, doesn't matter how light your bike is, if you're a fat fucker... doesn't matter how good your breaks are, if you're a suicidal idiot.

'breaks' ARRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My bike doesn't have a weight problem, its about 3 times the weight of these fancypants lightweight NJS Jobbies you guys are rocking, I mean I hit a fucking van and barely knocked my wheel out of true, with no other damage haha!
Anyway on a more serious note.....
To the OP ride brakeless BMX for a while to get some practice in, but basically you have to do a footjam skid sharpish and get yourself out of the way of cars, i've had this happen twice (and I ride brakless™), once because I had an exceptionally worn chain that had suffered a whole winter of commuting through shit and crap without being cleaned etc, my own fault should have cleaned it/changed it, basically a load of heavily worn rollers disintegrated below me causing it to snap, and on the other occasion I bought a piece of shit chain that is known to break when riding fixed
(again my own fuck up).
Both times I reacted the second I heard the noise got my weight over the back of the bike and jammed my foot into the rear wheel to initiate a skid, getting your weight over the back makes it harder for you to be thrown off as well if the chain happens to wrap around the spinning rear wheel/cog, both times I came to a stop safely in heavy traffic and avoided injury.
Above all, don't panic, focus, look for an escape route, think clearly, and there is a good chance you'll come away unscathed.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UeaT02eYYdc

Annnnnndddd were done.

Dear Nhattattack,

Thanks for your concerned letter.
No, I shouldn't have anymore kids,
the last one I had,
the fucking Jews nailed him to
a tree in his underpants.

All the best

Yahweh

x x x

this sort of thing is happening too often.
i'm gonna start a petition.

Get someone to throw a mountainbike at it.

ha!

Do as I do, fixed gear plus brakes front and back.

but what happens if your chain fails and your front brake fails AND your rear brake fails AND BOTH YOUR FEET FALL OFF AT THE SAME TIME?!!! what then, brainiac? huh?

Unclip feet.

Lean forward.

Raise legs behind you, together, in parallel.

Drag feet tops either side on rear tyre.

Enjoy pressure and vibrations of your goolies on the saddle.

Sorted.