NJS: What's the point?

How many? Then we can decide if it's worth shouting you ;)

Translation (courtesy of John Prolly's blog) some of which is a little sketchy but v.funny all the same.

Left Side:

Cheeky hat made of imitation denim with wannabe sponsor logo

Insect-resistant and stylish "nose-bike" (slang for sunglasses)
Model: Mandy Whorehole
Alternative: Eyepatch or "wood-eye" (like the eye in a plank of wood)

Weight-optimizied acceleration baby-beard
Model: booger- and snot-retardant "respect beam" (I think this is more unusual slang for mustache)
Alternative: None, really. Ah, well, maybe black sharpie.

Nitto NJS handlebars & stem
(limited edition anodized = powerful penis enlargement)
NJS-stamped track components generally increase the style and standing of fixie-pilots and will give your rivals even worse penis envy and make them salivate uncontrollably.
Alternative: Forget it, kid.

Tri- or Aerospoke front wheel
Most important is that it is made of plastic and is usable (I could be wrong if Platik isn't a typo for Plastik)
It doesn't make sense, but hipsters don't give a shit.
Trispokes and Aerospokes ride steady. End of story. ("ride steady" is a guess)
Alternative: Preferably a colored deep-V
Model: (no idea here) Accelerator, Scumpagnalo Pasta or Clammy Nippleator.

Funny stickers, postage stamps or pornographic images emphasizing urban appearance and uglification (theft deterrence), as well as the personalization of your fixie.

Right side:

Grandpa's stuffy flannel shirt from storage
Model: Desert Fox. Warms and protects the urban fixer from incipient semi-sunshine and spy attacks (?) from crazed freewheelers.

No mess bag, no credibility.
Fixie-pilots use the mess bag to distinguish themselves from the masses of ordinary bike riders.
Model: USA (Balkan model, if need be) (maybe)

Ghetto blaster casually balanced on the arm
Music: Punk, Oi or Ramones
Anything else would not be plausible.
Alternative: Riding no-handed with a turntable in each hand.

Bunch of keys dangling flirtatiously from a belt-loop.
Spares the dope in pants pockets and heralds the sweaty pilot precociously.

Cloth pants Model: Dixie ShootMeDead in doodoo-brown.
In a pinch: BiteMeBlue, hand-shortened.

Original Japanese NJS Keirin frame.
The holy grail of every fixie-pilot.

Spoke cards. Imperative.
Spoke cards are the poser's license plate.
The more license plates, the more... something.

Track pedals with double straps.
Double straps, double acceleration.

Battle scars. Boosts urban credibility.

Cloth sneakers with soft-as-shit rubber soles.
Reason: see Trispokes.

No bar tape. Bar tape is gay.
Alternative: Bar tape.

Socks are also gay.

Alternative: Riding no-handed with a turntable in each hand.

HAHA, i hope i live to see that one day

• thanks for posting translation
  

that isn't funny at all is it? very german.

although i do like "double straps, double acceleration".

and "fixie-pilot".

pilky [quote]Alternative: Riding no-handed with a turntable in each hand.

HAHA, i hope i live to see that one day

• thanks for posting translation[/quote]
  @ 3 minutes
  
  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OH5W1Z23wPg

the good enough for the track good enough for the road thing is bollocks! a velodrome and a london road are very different things.

they both end up with you going in circles aido

:)...although mine tend to be backwards

flickwg [quote]pilky [quote]Alternative: Riding no-handed with a turntable in each hand.

HAHA, i hope i live to see that one day

• thanks for posting translation[/quote]
  @ 3 minutes
  
  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OH5W1Z23wPg[/quote
]

flickwg u have filled a short lived ambition
and added a freewheel with no brakes into it aswell
that guy is off his tits!!!

i think he's just a twat.

wheels

Nice.

You are far too skilled at this sort of thing. I hope (for your sake) you also get paid to do stuff like this.

I don't get why ppl are so amazed at Ted Shred. Thats how plenty of street BMX'ers ride and they also bomb hills.

Ted Shred is living proof that Darwinism is a lie. According to Sir Charles, Mr. Shred shouldn't have made it past puberty but there he is.

Perhaps acting like you haven't yet reached puberty is the key to his success - once evolution realises he's able to procreate, it'll do the decent thing...

yes but do they DJ and spend a lot of time promoting them selves?

chris crash spend a lot of time promoting them selves?

Maybe we could convince Tony Malone to ride brakeless with a freewheel? Preferably around the M25...

hippy How many? Then we can decide if it's worth shouting you ;)

It normally takes fewer than 2 pints before I let you look at my pink rim.

tallsam Nice.

You are far too skilled at this sort of thing. I hope (for your sake) you also get paid to do stuff like this.

No.

turpe Ted Shred is living proof that Darwinism is a lie. According to Sir Charles, Mr. Shred shouldn't have made it past puberty but there he is.

The exception to prove the rule.. :)

turpe Ted Shred is living proof that Darwinism is a lie. According to Sir Charles, Mr. Shred shouldn't have made it past puberty but there he is.

Perhaps acting like you haven't yet reached puberty is the key to his success - once evolution realises he's able to procreate, it'll do the decent thing...

all real messengers ride barkeless free wheel

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J9bQi_fqH5U

aidan i think he's just a twat.

He's a teddy bear on the inside aidan.

wheels
No.

What do you do? I think that tumbleweed was lovely mate.

he is Tynan, and he is a musician and i claim my five pounds

velocity boy [quote]aidan i think he's just a twat.

He's a teddy bear on the inside aidan.[/quote]
you're probably right...

nimhbus he is Tynan, and he is a musician and i claim my five pounds

he wrote the music for this advert...amazing!
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=LgdnJM13bE8

here he is in person!
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=uMHiHNVMm7c&NR=1