Awkward Moments

^ and her reply was?

You'll have to buy the relavent edition of penthouse for that.

#Igiggledlikeagirlandaviodedeyecontact

#Igiggledlikeagirlandaviodedeyecontact

Standard response.

I guess it could have gotten a lot more awkward if she said she felt the same way.

Standard response.

I guess it could have gotten a lot more awkward if she said she felt the same way.

Well. Disapointing at least, when I hand her a cup rice.

#disappiontingladiessince1993

#since1993ifyoudon'tincludeyourmum

Wait,I keep forgetting there are adults who were born in the 90s, are you actually just 20ish?

There are also plenty of adults born in the '70s and '80s who behave like children.

I assumed I started disappionting ladies after turning 18. Not sure what made me think it started so late.

Oh stop it now, you've done alright for yourself, haven't you? We're you even small and furry?

I hardly even clapped eyes on the opposite sex until I left school. Those poor unsuspecting freshers...

Massive series of awkward moments from puberty to fatherhood.

Isnt that ho it works ;)

^ Soon you'll be accused of embarrassing your kids too :)

Drew level with a bloke on a classic old Dawes frame at the lights on Prince of Wales Road. "Shit bike" I said. Because I ride a Dawes, I was on it at the time and thought he'd notice. "Fxxx off!" he said. I couldn't explain, the lights changed. It was a joke, I thought he'd notice my bike and realise I was being ironic but instead there's a bloke out there somewhere who thinks I was just riding up to him and saying "shit bike".

I had one of those incidents in Homerton on my Spesh Tri Cross SS. Saw it's twin up the road, got level and said "sexy ride mate" with a very jokey voice (nothing sexy about a Tricross). "Fuck off!!!!" came the retort. I didn't even bother trying to smooth it over but we rode next to each other for a bit too long to be comfortable if you ask me.

Riding to college in the dark this morning, -12 degrees and my breath was turning into instant beard icicles (I live in Oslo). Was really enjoying the commute as the weekends snow had been compacted down into a nice smooth speedy surface thats a lot of fun to ride on. Very little traffic on my route today and usually zero cyclists in the winter so I was in my own world. Had dancing in the moonlight by lizzy stuck in my head, was singing it most of the way. Stopped at some road works lights, dead quiet as the workers hadn't started yet.

No sign of anyone around and the light sequence is quite long so I took the chance to air-guitar the solo for dancing in the moonlight with added drum sound affects for good measure before they changed. When they did I looked back to make sure no traffic was coming from behind and realised there was another cyclist behind me with a huge smile on her face that obviously bore witness to the whole thing…INSTANT AWKWARDNESS on my part.

If you were Zach Braff you'd have been writing the script and she'd have been a gorgeous actress who fell head over heals for your quirky display of lovable innocence.

Bumping into my ex and his scarily clingy girlfriend in east London today was awkward, in the extreme.

Surprisingly, he was permitted a minute of dialogue with me before she scrunched her face up, interrupted, and practically dragged him away, muttering gruffly about having to feed some vegan guests.

shudders

That sounds relatively painless. Could've been way worse!

I often sing or think out-loud when cycling and recently, I keep doing it without realising theres someone cycling behind me.

Must try to pretend to be less insane.

Returned some UGG boots back to my ex after we split a few years ago. Now although they were black, they weren't hers and didn't really match the description.

fucking awkward.com

^^ I was discussing this with my housemate the other day. I do it myself and love hearing it too.

I once head a man commentating as he cycled as if he was in Le Tour.
So i sped passed him and shouted 'And Joss Dakin storms past into the lead!'.

He told me to fuck off ):

I'm constantly working things out or singing on the bike, have had some of my best ideas when pedalling. Sometimes its awkward like ^^^^^^ but most of the time I don't mind when caught out. These days this is what I'm singing

Avenue Q - It Sucks To Be Me - YouTube

especially when the weather is shitty. Sometimes I replace the me to make it "It sucks to be youuuu" when passing cars stuck in traffic.

^^ I was discussing this with my housemate the other day. I do it myself and love hearing it too.

I once head a man commentating as he cycled as if he was in Le Tour.
So i sped passed him and shouted 'And Joss Dakin storms past into the lead!'.

He told me to fuck off ):

Fucking brilliant.

Talking to yourself is great. Self therapy.

I had a row with the driver of a car at some lights, after he had earlier cut me up and gave me the finger on a roundabout.
It wasn't pretty. All I could muster was farkin' cahnt before the lights changed and he was gone giving me the finger yet again.
I then rode off really shaking with rage. About an hour or so later my blood was still boiling, and I was miles out of town running through the various comments I wished I had used when I caught up with him.
Then I noticed two young lads had caught me and were silently riding along behind me giggling as I ranted. I thought I was running them through in my head when actually I wasn't

So my brother went on a random stag do in Gloucester on sat night. Obviously the party decide to go to a strip club. On entering my brother instantly recognises one of the girls and an old family friend whom we have known for years. One of my sisters friends from primary school. A lovely girl.

She does a turn on the main stage and obviously gets her kit off. My brother honestly doesn't want to look.. but he looks, obviously.

After her turn she starts to work the club. Trying to lure blokes to a private dance. After chatting to the bloke next to my brother she turns to him and says 'hi gorgeous, what's your name?'. After a split second before my brother can answer, she recognizes him. She doesn't say a word, just smiles and moves on to the next bloke.

Fair play, what a pro!

Hawkward.

^ Oh God - cringe!

It could have been worse I suppose...at least it was your sister's friend!

I recently made joke about Peter Sutcliffe to someone related to Peter Sutcliffe.

It did not go down well.