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@TheorySwine
The needless over-complication of otherwise simple things.
At a venerable high-street retailer recently, John Lewis if I'm honest and I've no reason to lie, after urinating I wanted to wash my hands like all good men should. Stopping this basic need was my inability to coax water from the tap, for I did not understand how it worked. I tried rain-dancing before the sink and whispering it sweet nothings, while groping the tap like a teenager ready to pop his cherry. Water water everywhere but not a drop for Swine.
Only when another customer pressed the tap's nozzle in a way I've not seen before, but he appeared accustomed to, was I able to do as intended. As a 36 year old man I felt a mixture of shame and ignorance from not being able to operate a modern tap. As we silently stood next to each other I decided against smiling in thanks at him through the shared mirror we faced for fear he thought I was a weird bog-lurker, but one with clean hands at least.