Owning your own home

The agents must be loving this. They're doing fuck all work - open days so they don't even have to fuck about with viewings - and getting paid the same percentage rates as before on massively inflated house prices.

Where do I apply to be one?

Meh. I used to get 2.5% 15 years ago. I'm lucky if I get 1% now

I don't do open days [open hours really] either. As you suggest, they're for lazy agents who don't care about providing any sort of service.

Send me your CV and soul by PM and I'll find you a job moving wheelie bins out of the way for photos. You have to bring your own suit but we do have company branded Lycra. #trufact