Liar's Wednesday

Rolex are taking over the bus contract for 3 south eastern transport companies.
A spokesperson for Rolex said "We saw the opening for an unexpected expansion to our portfolio, plus we have the perfect opportunity to use a 'Running on Time' pun"

the laws of physics will be turned off from 11pm tonight, till 6am tomorrow

The Sun newspaper is to seek legal action over anyone referring to our nearest star as the Sun on the basis of copywrite infringement

i don't smell of last nights ale and fags.

Oysters are magnetic

Oyster cards use the magnetic part of real oysters as the active element that allows them to be read.

LFGSS has got better over the past few years.

Goat's Cheese isn't made from goat milk, it belongs to them.

Professional tennis players are intelligent enough to understand that grass, as a playing surface, might be slippery, particularly in a rain-soaked island like Britain.

Traditional lemonade never contained lemon, but a juice made from lightly fermented goose droppings.

Dandelion and Burdmuck?

working so hard this week, just rushed off my feet,

My boss has just left work for the rest of the day which means I've got a whole two hours to get stuck into some work and not slide off home.

Resurrecting old forum topics uses less electricity than eating a grape

A 5H pencil can be used to cut glass

when they say 25% extra free on crisp packets, what they actually mean is they are giving 25% extra in actual real life crisps

My emploerys would never lie to me on a Wednesday. Or any other day of the week. I think I love them.

I can easily afford my English MA, it will be fine finding another job after I was sacked from the last one, I dont regret any of my decisions at all.

I'm never going to drink again.

On Monday, Volkswagen Group purchased the troubled cycling department of Bentley which is famed for its Royce hubs and Rolls saddles.

Messyrage was an honest trader

Scoble is an expert in road race bikes.

A bylaw is being passed that will make doing a 'sick fixy skid' illegal, unless the person doing was a) egged on by a pedestrian to 'do a skid' or b) is shouting 'skiiiiiiidzSkiiiiilz' for the duration of the skid

Scoble is an expert.

#etc

usually , round this time on a wednesday, I like to retire to the conservatory for a game of backgammon an disucss the price of fish freely in gujarati with my ocelot