Your best responses during a road rage

My favourite one was during summer last year. I'm quite a heavily built tattooed fellow and while I sometimes switch on drivers (usually when they've endangered pals of mine), I'd much rather deal with things in a more light hearted way if possible - I think it's more effective, and you get less stressed, and besides, it can be funnier.

This Nigerian guy in a Nissan cut me up coming across Dalston Junction, obviously hadn't seen me, and I wanted to let him know next time to look for cyclists, but didn't want to be combative about it. So I cycled up to his nearside window as we pootled along, and said 'would you mind using your indicators next time you're planning on changing lanes?'. He heard me but refused to look at me or acknowledge what I'd said; just accelerated and hoped I'd go away. And instead of getting annoyed, I thought this was kind of funny, and the sarcasm descended.

So I caught up with him (it's 6pm in Dalston, traffic is heavy) and said something like, 'OK, you're not an indicators sort of person. Still, you should let me know somehow - about a declarative poem?'. Again, wouldn't look at me, just accelerated off. So I caught up with him again, and bellowed though the open window about the communicative possibilities of the anonymous pamphlet - retro, definitely, but surely due for a resurgence one of these days. I kept this up for a good mile or so, each time suggesting new methods of communication for him to employ, never once swearing, never once losing the smile off my face.

Only when he got into the clear did he finally manage to wind up his window and speed off. But I kept it up even then; I like to think that pedestrians still wonder to themselves what set of circumstances could've led to a heavily tattooed young man to loudly exhort a confused-looking middle-aged driver to 'CONSIDER THE BON MOT! FOR IT IS ALL THE RAGE IN THE SALONS OF GAY PARIS'.

No wonder cyclists have such a bad name.