Jokes / Joke du jour!

Source: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-23753634

[*] Rob Auton - "I heard a rumour that Cadbury is bringing out an oriental chocolate bar. Could be a Chinese Wispa."
[*] Alex Horne - "I used to work in a shoe-recycling shop. It was sole-destroying."
[*] Alfie Moore - "I'm in a same-sex marriage... the sex is always the same."
[*] Tim Vine - "My friend told me he was going to a fancy dress party as an Italian island. I said to him 'Don't be Sicily'."
[*] Gary Delaney - "I can give you the cause of anaphylactic shock in a nutshell."
[*] Phil Wang - "The Pope is a lot like Doctor Who. He never dies, just keeps being replaced by white men."
[*] Marcus Brigstocke - "You know you are fat when you hug a child and it gets lost."
[*] Liam Williams - "The universe implodes. No matter."
[*] Bobby Mair - "I was adopted at birth and have never met my mum. That makes it very difficult to enjoy any lapdance."
[*] Chris Coltrane - "The good thing about lending someone your time machine is that you basically get it back immediately."

Number 9 is the best for me...

As an adoptee this has just ruined lap dances for me..