Jokes / Joke du jour!

Source: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-23753634

• Rob Auton - "I heard a rumour that Cadbury is bringing out an oriental chocolate bar. Could be a Chinese Wispa."
  
• Alex Horne - "I used to work in a shoe-recycling shop. It was sole-destroying."
  
• Alfie Moore - "I'm in a same-sex marriage... the sex is always the same."
  
• Tim Vine - "My friend told me he was going to a fancy dress party as an Italian island. I said to him 'Don't be Sicily'."
  
• Gary Delaney - "I can give you the cause of anaphylactic shock in a nutshell."
  
• Phil Wang - "The Pope is a lot like Doctor Who. He never dies, just keeps being replaced by white men."
  
• Marcus Brigstocke - "You know you are fat when you hug a child and it gets lost."
  
• Liam Williams - "The universe implodes. No matter."
  
• Bobby Mair - "I was adopted at birth and have never met my mum. That makes it very difficult to enjoy any lapdance."
  
• Chris Coltrane - "The good thing about lending someone your time machine is that you basically get it back immediately."