Football

Sad to report that Moyes has won more silverwear after one game in charge of ManU than Wenger has won in eight years.

Clive, you should know better. The Charity Shield is not a trophy. FACT.

And it was a shit joke on here, and a repost. So then tweeting it is unforgiveable.

This really should go it the Epic WTF thread, but not sure anyone will understand it ;)

http://www.twitlonger.com/show/n_1rlsd01

FOOTBALL HAS OFFICIALLY DIED. I REPEAT OFFICIALLY DIED....

MESSI, PELE AND BECKENBAUER SIGN FOR FARNBOROUGH FC
Paddy Power sponsorship deal brings all time greats to the Skrill South

When the Premier League kicks-off this weekend, Manchester United and Chelsea may feel that they have missed out on their key transfer targets. However, the same cannot be said of Skrill South outfit Farnborough FC, who have had a month to remember – unveiling the signings of Lionel Messi, Pele and Franz Beckenbauer!

But this isn't just another oil-rich, oligarch takeover. In a world football first brokered by bookmaker Paddy Power, every player in the first team squad of Farnborough FC, has changed their name legally by deed poll to the name of a legendary footballer in their respective position. The end result is that, on paper, the Skrill South team will be without doubt the best combination of playing talent that has ever been assembled.

The partnership between Paddy Power and Farnborough FC, mooted to be a mammoth six-figure deal, came just in time for 'Boro'. Having been trapped in administration since April, the club's future was very much in the balance, but they can now start the season with sound financial footing. The one-year deal sees Paddy Power become title sponsors of the club, which will include kit branding and stadium sponsorship, as Cherrywood Road becomes Paddy Power Park for the opening season.

Instead of a line-up including the likes of Balls, Inns and Treacher, the yellow kit of Hampshire's finest, will be adorned with all time great names like Gascoigne, Best, Pele, Banks and Beckenbauer. Additionally the manager of Farnborough FC, formerly known as Spencer Day, has changed his name to that of the 'Special One' Jose Mourinho.

The players' deed poll certificates and registration documents have been filed with the League, meaning that the Farnborough FC team that kicks off their Skrill South campaign on Saturday will be the most star-studded team in history. It's not just the Farnborough FC faithful, all Skrill South fans now need only to travel to Paddy Power Park, and not the Nou Camp, to see some of the world's best players.

-Ends-

Full Squad List:

Kevin Ainsley SCRIVEN Gordon BANKS Goalkeeper
Joshua Adam HUGGINS Lothar MATTHAUS Defender
Oliver George TREACHER Silva Rocha ROBERTO CARLOS Defender
Adam Hugh DOYLE Paolo MALDINI Defender
Alan Francis INNS Alan HANSEN Defender
Paul Jinnah MASSAQUOI Marcos Evangelista de Moraes CAFU Defender
Djibril FOFANA John TERRY Defender
Thomas Andrew McGARRY Franz BECKENBAUER Defender
Reece Nicholas JONES George BEST Midfield
Stephen Thomas LAIDLER Paul GASCOIGNE Midfield
Merrick Anthony JAMES-LEWIS Zinedine ZIDANE Midfield
Tyrone Michael Justin BERRY Johann CRUYFF Midfield
Daniel BENNETT Lionel MESSI Strikers
Reece William CONNOLLY Gary LINEKER Strikers
David Charles TARPEY Diego MARADONA Strikers
Elvis Zark HAMMOND Edson Arantes do Nascimento PELE Strikers
Spencer DAY José MOURINHO Manager
Leigh James Thomas DYNAN Paddy POWER Assistant Manager
Simon John GARDENER Sir Alex Fergurson First-Team Coach
Roger Leslie PEIRCE Terry Venables Kit Man

About Farnborough FC:
Farnborough Football Club (formed after the demise of Farnborough Town F.C. in 2007) is an English football team currently in the Conference South after finishing top of Southern League Premier Division in 2009–10.

Their home ground is known as Cherrywood Road, based in Farnborough, Hampshire. Their primary colours are all yellow with blue trim.
http://tl.gd/n_1rlsd01

And it was a shit joke on here, and a repost. So then tweeting it is unforgiveable.

It has certainly upset some Gooner Trolls on twitter.

This really should go it the Epic WTF thread, but not sure anyone will understand it ;)

http://www.twitlonger.com/show/n_1rlsd01

every player in the first team squad of Farnborough FC, has changed their name legally by deed poll to the name of a legendary footballer

Gary Lineker?

lol
I posted it this morning Clive. Hopefully it will be the only thing he wins

Djibril FOFANA John TERRY Defender

Erm...

Luiz Gustavo - is a decent signing but I would say about 4 million too much at the mooted 17million price tag.

This twat deserves 5 years inside just for his haircut.

https://twitter.com/StupidFootball/status/367027214295904258/photo/1

Not really... he was asked if Barca come in for you would you be interested.. "I'd always welcome interest from Barca etc etc who wouldn't"

It's standard manipulation he'll only go if fsg are willing to sell him. I would expect a lot of € for that to happen given he's our best defender and 2nd longest serving player

He has also said out of respect he would honour his contract (he is one the few I believe would stick around).

#notworried

Glad to see Rickie Lambert in the England squad for whatever meaningless friendly it is coming up.

I like it when journeyman footballers' hard work eventually pays off, and he's clearly got talent if he scored 15 goals in his first PL season for a team who flirted with relegation at first and never seemed to particularly stand out.

Can anyone point to a time when cornie's thoughts (not plagiarised writings) about football and position and players have been correct?

Or anyone on here's really?

Mine. I said very early on into Suarez's time on Merseyside that I thought he was a bit of a cunt and that he seemed the type that would jump ship in an instant.

A lot of City fans think there is a pro-United and an Anti-City bias in the mainstream media. Journos call such fans paranoid etc, but have a read of this....

http://www.independent.co.uk/sport/football/news-and-comment/kevin-garside-forget-wayne-rooney-adnan-januzaj-has-the-class-to-be-the-first-moyes-babe-8756589.html

Lively comments section.

Downing to West Ham.

Move of the season. No hope for Liverpool now.

Trolling aside, the acquisition of Caroll and Downing from Liverpool at reasonable cost may well prove to be deal(s) of the season. Certainly, should the Brendalution result in more cries of "next year" - and I am struggling to see beyond that at the moment - and West Ham continue their good work, then I think this may be the case.

I have no doubt they will do a good job for WHU.

I looked at the the Swiss Rambles Arsenal article (the graphs that were related to lfc) and 2012's liverpool report and things are such a mess at Anfield it's scary. I kinda forgot how close to the edge of the abyss Hick and Gillett took us after that second place finish.
I'd love to see where things are at now with fringe/high earning players exiting. For the wage turnover, the results on the pitch simply were not good enough. FSG aren't (supposedly) just looking to slash the wage bill, but get a better return for what they pay in wages.

Things I'd like:
To see them pay big wages to their youth team coaches if they really want to turn things around in the long term.
I wished FSG would have been stronger in their dedicated director of football vision because as evidenced by Spurs and Citeh transfer dealings; they look very coherent in where they're going, whereas Man U and Ars do not.

Sad to report that Moyes has won more silverwear after one game in charge of ManU than Wenger has won in eight years.

isn't it 11 years, as my post and a few others stated YESTERDAY

No dicki, you're wrong, not for he first time either.

Love and kisses,

jaw
http://www.sincearsenallastwonatrophy.co.uk

All you smug pellets twining about Moyes not winning anything in 11 years and he's already done it with Man Utd are just making yourselves look a bit simple

It's like saying if Lewis Hamilton was driving a Skoda Flavia he would never win fuck all

#nicolascageduhhhhhhhhhface

isn't it 11 years, as my post and a few others stated YESTERDAY

i withdraw my comment
i thought that clive, the dear fellow, was refering to everton, hence the 11 years

i whole heartedly apologise clive

All you smug pellets twining about Moyes not winning anything in 11 years and he's already done it with Man Utd are just making yourselves look a bit simple

It's like saying if Lewis Hamilton was driving a Skoda Flavia he would never win fuck all

#nicolascageduhhhhhhhhhface

but liverpool won stuff in that time and we're not very good either

......... so people keep saying

It's like saying if Lewis Hamilton was driving a Skoda Flavia he would never win fuck all

Maybe. But if Moyes was driving a formula one car he still wouldn't be yentzing a pop star.

All you smug pellets twining about Moyes not winning anything in 11 years and he's already done it with Man Utd are just making yourselves look a bit simple

It's like saying if Lewis Hamilton was driving a Skoda Flavia he would never win fuck all

#nicolascageduhhhhhhhhhface

errr. Wigan won the FA cup last year and got relegated >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Birmingham won the Mickey Mouse cup >>>>>>>>>>>>>>
I'm sure there have been a few other shit teams, including Liverpool, win trophies in that time
#weartheshirt

Boro won the League cup and got to a European final.
Swansea won the League cup last year
Portsmouth won the FA cup '09

^^There you go >>>>>>>>>>>>>

Steve McClaren.....more winningest than David Moyes.

Until Moyes gets a couple of seasons at Man U under his belt.