Sort-of memes that are cracking you up at the moment

All insects and arachnids and all other things everywhere are cunts.

British problems

Number nine got me going big time...

Once I was rushing to the loo in an advert break of a film, I needed a piss and to also chuck something in bin. Well, I chucked the rubbish in the loo, and then went to the kitchen bin and started to relieve myself, I had already started when I realised.

I confess >>>

I once shifted up when I meant to shift down

once

Not a meme but I think someones got an irrational fear of wasps..

I got stung by one outside Brixton police station for literally no reason, I was just walking down the street minding my own business and then noticed one stuck to my hand, having itself a fun little stingy party.

Wasps = cunts

BTW Wasps are shit...

I've got a wasps nest to destroy later today.

I had an epic battle with one six years ago and I'm still a bit mentally scarred by it, but I'm going in again.

Pray for me.

came home to thousands of wasps in my kitchen a few years back - all emerging from behind a light fitting in the ceiling, leading to the roof space. Too scared to go up, called a grown up man with a special vacuum thingy......fuck that

Yeah, I was changing a light fitting in the bathroom, so I shuffled across the boards in the loft with a Maglite in my mouth. I'm fucking about with the light fitting, wondering where the buzzing is coming from, then I turn to my right...

A wasps nest the size of a rugby ball is there, three inches from my eye, wasps crawling all over the fucking thing.

It took me weeks to destroy it. Chemicals, sprays, foam, the lot. I couldn't understand why it wouldn't die.

Turns out it spread right into the eaves of the house, the rugby ball bit was just the tip. It must have been nearly three feet across.

I eventually smashed it with a makeshift spear fashioned from a broom handle and a trowel after spraying three tins of nest foam at it. I then hoovered up the attacking squadrons of stripy cunts and the lumps of shattered nest with a Henry vacuum.

My wife found it very amusing that she could hear buzzing and me thumping around the loft, screaming and shouting DIE DIE DIE!!

I won though.

The hoover weighed a fucking ton when I brought it down - Lucifer 120,000 - Wasps 0.

British problems
http://9gag.com/gag/aPvGRoB

My fav

Come on Holls...

Sorry, I mean I got stung by one for LITERALLY no reason.

came home to thousands of wasps in my kitchen a few years back - all emerging from behind a light fitting in the ceiling, leading to the roof space. Too scared to go up, called a grown up man with a special vacuum thingy......fuck that

Oh, fuck's sake. I once moved into a house as a student and there were millions of the fuckers in one of the bedrooms upstairs. I'd totally forgotten about that until you posted this, thanks for that. It was horrifying, they were all over the room, crawling over the floor, over the bed, covering the windows. We locked the bedroom door and put tape over the cracks.

"I've got a wasps nest to destroy later today. I had an epic battle with one six years ago and I'm still a bit mentally scarred by it, but I'm going in again. Pray for me."

Check with the council; some councils will sort shit like that out for you.

waspchat thread>>>>>>>

It's the little things in life...

Check with the council; some councils will sort shit like that out for you.

I would see that as failure.

I'd rather dress like an 'Alien's' fanboy at a Sci Fi convention with a seven pound budget and tackle the bastards myself.

Man versus Insect round two, this afternoon.

^^I would have loved to have seen the bus driver's face. I'd like to believe that s/he would be amused but experience tells me grumpiness would prevail.

the rugby ball bit was just the tip. It must have been nearly three feet across.
PM me...

The hoover weighed a fucking ton when I brought it down - Lucifer 120,000 - Wasps 0.

When my folks moved into their current place, a big old Victorian job with loads of nooks and crannies, the loft literally hummed.

On inspection, it turned out to be infested with cluster flies, which had set up home during the colder months, and then started to breed with a vengeance as the weather turned warmer - The loft hatch became a portal onto a dipteran maelstrom, the air almost solid with wings and bug bodies.

A few well placed canisters of gaseous murder later, and the rest of the day was spent vacuuming up bag after bag of fly carcases.

But wasps are proper cunts though. You should probably just burn the house down to be safe.

This next nest is an outdoor affair.

I will be going elemental on it, fighting with water and fire.

helmet cam please, I await running around screaming like a girl amusment

If only he still had the long flowing locks to get the fuckers tied up in.