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@snottyotter
I was coming up off large amounts of MDMA in a grotty club and needed a shit. The toilets were the crap metal ones with piss soaked mouldy wood on the rim, I decided to hold myself up above it to avoid any kind of contact. All was going OK but I was a little distracted by trying to chew my own eyebrows off, I finished up and turned around to see a "draw your own collisions" style mr whippy turd on the back of the toilet, not in the bowl. I left the toilet with a cheery "Careful mate, some dirty fuckers left something right horrid in there." And went off to dance the night away.