For Sale: Foffa Single Speed Custom-built bicycle

I was once on a residential student training thing at Pershore College where a bloke called Barry got so drunk he found his way back to the wrong room - an unoccupied one, kicked the door in, fell asleep on the bed, woke up in the night for a poo, couldn't find his way out in the dark, did it in the bin, kicked the bin over, tried to clear it up and smeared it all over the walls, tried to escape out of the window, which was on the first floor, landed in a bush, fell asleep there and was found by the cleaners in the morning.

You're not Barry are you ?