Degreaser + Wood table = Pissy woman

Hey all

Urgently need some help with a domestic!

Came home and left a bag of just bought bike gubbins on the table and went to be. Woke up to find my brand new bottle of MucOff had gushed everywhere and stained the table to my missus broke down (i know it's just a table).

I know this isn't really a mechanical but I desperately need help.

I think the table is a stained oak table. It did look old a worn but now it looks old and worn with a massive stain on it.

Now for the question! To any of you DIY geniuses out there! Is there any way I can save the table? Strip it and restain it? Can I get it back to looking (i hate this phrase) shabby cheek again???

Any input will be very greatly thanked and I will accept all put downs for being a muppet...

Cheers

is it waxed or varnished?

^ good question fred

i've just tried to read ingredients online.. alkaline based is the only description.

i have american oak doors. they're treated with tung oil b- one drop of human sweat on them made a black mark. oak is famous for that...if that is what happened, hmmm. good luck

Assuming it has soaked in, it must be a waxed / oiled / polished finish.
Varnish would probably repel detergent.
The best I can suggest is to soak the whole table in muc off, by covering it with a muc off soaked cloth, until it is a uniform colour, but a lot darker. Then leave it to dry. If the result is too dark brush neat bleach onto it with a nail brush, and rinse off. Keep doing this until it is light enough. You could lime it also, but that is a bit more involved.
You could even paint it with a really really dilute emulsion paint, and wipe it all off. This will give a trendy washed out effect, but make sure the wood id completely clean and sanded, i.e no wax / oil / varnish.

Here's a picture of it

is it waxed or varnished?

   I think the wood might just be stained... not sure though

It doesn't look varnished

Any way to check?

I think you should sand it really thoroughly, then danish oil. About 5 treatments.

And tell your beloved you love her, you'll make it better, buy a bunch of flowers, and a meal out.

When I say sand it, I mean literally remove a mm.

do what skully said.

you need to age it and darken it a little before you wax or oil it, else it'll look really new. Use tea, let it dry completely. You'll need to probably sand and oil the legs too to match the top.

make a really good job of it by weathering it so it gets a little battered. Drop the contents of a cutlery drawer on it a few times. Then wax it again.

You'll know if you've done a good job on the restoration, she'll let you christen it ;-)

yes to the first part...
NO to the 2nd part. you'll ruin a good woman. fix it, tell her shit happens, and not to get so upset next time.

I think you should sand it really thoroughly, then danish oil. About 5 treatments.

And tell your beloved you love her, you'll make it better, buy a bunch of flowers, and a meal out.

forget all about it, have you cleaned the bike yet? No? go and get some more muc off

I think you should sand it really thoroughly, then danish oil. About 5 treatments.

This.

sand out the offending stain and refinish. Its dead easy. I use tung oil thinned down 50/50 with turps and about three coasts to get a really good hardwearing finish.

Tung oil is the major ingredient in danish oil.

pretty sure its pine, easy to sand! just give it a good sanding and some oil, then you should be good!

If the stain has penetrated (cant view the photo you posted - I'm at work) then you might need to plane it out. This will remove more material than sanding, and has more potential for doing more damage if you don't know what you're doing but will be faster than sanding by hand. Otherwise (again, depending on deepness of penetration) hire/borrow an electric sander to save your arms.

I think you should sand her really thoroughly, then danish oil. About 5 treatments. She'll be right as rain

.

muc-off has degreasing agents that are designed to bind with oil etc ? Can't you just try scrubbing the offending area with quite a light oil (olive oil even) using a softish brush to take up as much of it as possible before going crazy with sanding etc?

You could also try putting some tea towels over and steaming the wood with a clothes iron to take up the wax/oil over the stain and see if it gets lighter as the cloths soak up the oils/detergent.

This may not work at all. But I'd still rather try this before fucking around sanding and then trying to re-create some kind of worn/shabby chique effect.

If the stain has penetrated (cant view the photo you posted - I'm at work) then you might need to plane it out. This will remove more material than sanding, and has more potential for doing more damage if you don't know what you're doing but will be faster than sanding by hand. Otherwise (again, depending on deepness of penetration) hire/borrow an electric sander to save your arms.

^this. Woodworking planes are the absolute business and, when properly sharp, will remove wood much quicker than a sander and leave you with a smoother finish. However, beware when planing tabletops because they are quite often made of boards with the grain going in alternating directions (meant to be stronger or something, but probably tosh). If you stray over the join between boards then you can end up tearing out noticeable chunks of wood.

Fire?

The grain goes in the same direction but the boards alternate - One board end grain concave next board end grain convex and so on.

The grain goes in the same direction but the boards alternate - One board end grain concave next board end grain convex and so on.

I guess I don't know as much about wood grain as I thought (since I don't know what this means). My comment was partly from experience of planing an oak worktop made of small blocks laid up in no particular order.

Looks like pine to me. I'd use it for a bonfire and get something else to please the missus.

Just get your woman to piss on it seeing as she's so pissy.

The urea should give the wood a nice even tan.

Tin of ronseal on it sorted

I suspect the tan she's give his hide if he suggested this would be a little stronger