Popcorn

^ http://www.lfgss.com/thread29463.html

Cheer, best moment are those "I hope..." comment;

I hope his coaster sticks to the bottom of his glass in public

I hope he does a little dribble in his trousers after peeing and just before an important meeting.

I hope he gets an erection at an inopportune moment, and it causes him embarassment.

I hope he burns his tongue and scrapes the roof of his mouth eating a french bread pizza.

I hope he goes downstairs to pick something up, but when he's there he forgets what he wanted, then walks back up and when he's sat down again he remembers what he wanted.

I hope he trots off for a nice relaxing poo with a copy of the Daily Mail to remind himself how witty he is and runs out of loo roll.

I hope he involuntarily cries when plucking a nose-hair.

I hope he goes to the supermarket to buy a packet of eggs without having a look inside and then at home he notices that one of them is cracked open.

I hope he eats a wafer thin mint.

I hope he finds himself increasingly subject to a creeping sense of his own mortality and a slow recognition that the only absolute knowledge attainable by man is that life is meaningless.

I hope next time he gets dressed he puts his bottom button in the second button hole and does them all up before he realises.

I hope that he forgets to wash his hands after chopping some chillies, then goes for a wee and then rubs his eye at the same time.

I hope he falls desperately in love with a girl called Masseratti and after getting her name tattooed on his arm is repeatedly told that he's spelt the car manufacturer name wrong.

I hope he fails to locate a working biro during an important phone call.

I hope his cake does not rise.

Absolute gold.