Jokes / Joke du jour!

there's muffin good in this thread anymore

Where's Oliver Stick?

The wheatGerman king of puns?

snotty, you're on a roll

Trying to give everyone a slice of entertainment.

German

Don't mention the Warburtons

^ plait's great

When I was a kid I had a racing snail. I took its shell off to try and make it faster but it just made it sluggish.

I escargot it.

you're such a gas

tropod

Born and bread.

Lads, let's face it, Savage *snailed *it

What is 12 inches long and hangs in front of an leasehold ?
David Cameron's tie

Sorry predictive text that's meant to read arse hole

When I was a kid I had a racing snail. I took its shell off to try and make it faster but it just made it sluggish.

Stolen.

Sorry predictive text that's meant to read arse hole

I've got a job playing the triangle in a reggae band. I just stand at the back and ting.

Ha!

Hey Snottyotter, I thought I read your name on a loaf of bread, then I looked again, it said "Thick Cut".

No need to take the Pâtisserie.

What's brown and sticky?

Elton John's wedding ring.

just asked someone if i cld borrow their newspaper.
'Use my iPad' they said.
U should have seen their face when i whacked a spider with it!

-- Dave Moore (@mooreconsortium)

I don't know what they make pretzals out of but it's knot bread.

"I can't work out what's inside an exhaust pipe that deadens the sound"

"Baffling isn't it?"