the excuses thread also known as the bedwetting thread

I know I said I was well up for it, that was after 5 pints but before the jagerbombs and whiskey.

*Pete, feeling the pressure, whips out his little book of excuses and thumbs through its worn and ragged pages. He flicks past the obvious - the hangovers, the punctures, the incoming cold and the outgoing one, he continues past his bookmarked specials, the red ribbon poking out between the pages as if it were sticking a tongue out at his commitments. He stops, about two thirds of the way through. The One-off Excuses section. He slides his finger down the page, eyes squinting.

[QUOTE=Fox;2086954]More sodding leaving drinks tomorrow night, apparently these are also mine?

That'll do, he thinks, and with the joy of a man who has once more dodged a bullet, posts his get-out for all to see*[/QUOTE]

.

Also:

List of excuses for bailing on HoP, to be regularly updated.
Internship meeting
Getting in to Parsons New School for Design and running off to New York
Basement turbo sessions
Roller sessions
The bike is too heavy
Didn't iron a shirt
"It's pretty windy out there for my stupid wheels"
Chasing motorbikes
Gentrifying catford

Gentrifying Catford is by far my favourite.

My toenails are too long to put my cycling shoes on.

Admission?

ironing a shirt is a classic for me

Admission?

Not at all, if it was me I would say that my feet were too hairy to put my cycling shoes on.

doctor says the cast has to stay on another few days

...just gotta weigh these latest components...

chainring may explode?

"It just kinda got stuck in there, don't think it's coming out for a while."

chainbreaker may explode if he is trolled by scoble again
.

"It just kinda got stuck up there, don't think it's coming out for a while."

Viagra overdose.

fisting 101

My saddle hurts my farmer giles, and the blow up donut saddle I need hasn't been concieved yet

thread needs to be bumped!

#fullkitpisti

Meanwhile, somewhere in Islington...

for the benefit of those who do not know what the hashtag refers to, this will be of no use either

<<<< Nor this

He lost a bet, right?

lozls

He lost a bet, right?

nah, he didn't lose money ..... he lost his dignity / pride and all of his rep's

I was stuck by lightning etc...etc...etc
I rode past a pub
Not enough hills