Lance Armstrong... greatest doper there was or ever will be

You'd want beer but he'd make you drink vodka and do coke and then you'd have to pay for the strippers as well.

And he would be popping to the gents every couple of minutes to do a few lines of white stuff and then deny it and claim that you are a troll and worse when you point to the white residue around his nostrils and his dilated pupils.