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    1. Cards and penalties given for attempting to strip oppo attackers at corners
    2. Blatter to to fall, or be putsched
    3. ACN to pass off peacefully
    4. A lower division team to win the FA Cup
    5. 606 to be manned exclusively by Danny Baker, or binned
    6. Joke penalties for racism to fuck right off (it currently works out at about 60p in fines for each banana thrown at a black player, which is still cheaper than Pret) - Serbia penalty to be upgraded with extreme(ly ironic) prejudice and a few other harsh lines drawn in the sand
    7. Clubs worldwide to be held more accountable for their ultras' behaviour outside grounds
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