Football

So the Ballon d'Or shortlists are out.

Players:
Sergio Agüero, Xabi Alonso, Mario Balotelli, Karim Benzema, Gianluigi Buffon, Sergio Busquets, Iker Casillas, Cristiano Ronaldo, Didier Drogba, Radamel Falcao, Zlatan Ibrahimović, Andrés Iniesta, Lionel Messi, Manuel Neuer, Neymar, Mesut Özil, Gerard Piqué, Andrea Pirlo, Sergio Ramos, Wayne Rooney, Yaya Touré, Robin van Persie, Xavi.

What on earth is Balotelli doing on that list? For some lolz at the ceremony probably, as he turns up on a solid gold Skidoo with a homeless man aboard to park it, and can't get in to the venue as he pushes the pull door.

The token inclusion of Rooney is a sad indictment on the state of English football.