Any question answered...

For the record
For future generations that may ask the question

Thegymgroup.com is brilliant! The gym group Waterloo to be specific.
It's £20 a month with well spaced equipment in a large area with almost everything one can want out of gym equipment. There aren't pools and there aren't saunas and there aren't tanning beds so there aren't a mass of people who just get in your way.
In fact, this has more variety they most virgins I've been too. Only issue is that the dumbbells dont go heavy enough.

BETTER is much better. It's £20 for a rolling monthly contract. Swimming pool included. Pilates and yoga for free as long as not in the evening.
You don't even need to face the square necks, doormen and bailiffs, if you don't want to use steroids and weights, as it's a completely different room to normal people.