Lance Armstrong... greatest doper there was or ever will be

Anyway, how do I get appointed to this commission? I think that I am ideally placed to ensure that the commission investigates fully and fairly and ensures the future health of cycling. Better still, how do I get Pat's job when he has to resign?

Come on, Clive, someone as deeply implicated in doping as you would be exactly the wrong candidate. Or how else would you explain the fact that you were able to keep up with the seniors for a full 1.3 laps in Muddy Hell in 2009? I rest my case.