Any question answered...

How do cycle reservations on East Midlands trains work? Their site told me I had to download a Word document(!?) and fill out the details and then email it back to them(!?) so I did and then got an auto message back saying they'd look at my email within 10 days(!?) but certainly no fewer than 20 days(!?)

Then I got another email from some guy saying "thanks for your email, here's your reservation reference", but the original Word document says in the small print that the Word doc IS the reservation document and that it needs an "authorisation code" on it to be valid. I have no idea if the "reservation reference" is the same thing or what. I've emailed the train company back to enquire and got the automated "up to 20 days, lolza" message back.

Has anybody successfully negotiated this system before?

Bizarre. Try booking through East Coast? They seem to let you book bikes on pretty much any network.

What Bendix said; book using eastcoast.co.uk

East Mids trains is a bit sucky. Bike reservations through eastcoast are easy.