Road Rage

get archery training..

9mm Glock - fits in jersey pocket

it's heavy and noisy

Lighter than bow and arrows, even with silencer fitted.

"and the manx missile is locked on..."

where is Cav when you need him?

But a Robin Hood hat could make you handsome.

"and the manx missile is locked on..."

where is Nancy when you need her?

Fixed.

http://defense-update.com/products/g/31122010_griffin_sgm.html

Just the job.

One day someone's going to do this kind of shit and then break down up the road and let me take out years of pent up road rage on their sorry carcass..

I always quite like the moment where someone cuts you up, snatches some road dangerously, shouts abuse of flicks a v or something only to hit lights up the road. It's nice to glide up to the driver's side window and just stare through with a quizzical look. The usual response is the 1000 yard forward stare, hands on the wheel, no acknowledgement of my presence. I'm not a big man and I have absolutely no intention of getting into a ruck with anyone ever. But this little moment just sums up the cowardice and ignorance associated with some people's behaviour when protected by their little metal boxes. I usually pull away from them with a smile and a wave and generally make progress to my destination with more speed and less stress than them. Good times.

A guy undertook me and turned right across me in a car while I was turning right off a two lane A road a while ago. Pretty lethal and ignorant. I caught him with ease at the next lights and the above happened. Except this time his window came down and he was raging. "What are you looking at?"
"Well I'm looking at you" say I. "How could I miss you, you damn nearly killed me."
"You wanna step to me cunt?"
"And you get another go at killing me? Not really. You're obviously an angry guy, but I doubt you actually set out to kill someone did you? Take it easy man it's busy out here."
I pulled up in the green box in front of him, pretty adrenalinised but trying to hold my own. He pulled his motor right up to my back wheel and gunned his engine. When the lights changed I concentrated on clipping in cleanly and pulling away at my own pace, but I was pretty nervy while he overtook me. All was well. I inevitably caught up to him at the next lights in a line of cars and rode past with a smile. Never saw him again, he might still be in that traffic jam for all I know.

^ sounds like you dealt with it well, some people just have a chip on their shoulder. I'm much more used to your earlier description where drivers at lights refuse to acknowledge your existance because they're fully aware of the stupid and dangerous mistake they just made.

I used to go mental with fast close overtakes, but in my experience when you confront them most are oblivious and apologise if you ask why as opposed to shout at them.

I always read it as an aggressive statement, but it seems it's just stupidity. Don't know what's worse really, but at least it doesn't have to be an aggressive confrontation afterwards.

Aggression would be worse. Ignorance can be worked on. For the life of me, I still can't see why there aren't a series of educational tv ads to ask drivers to modify their behaviour in relation to cyclists and even ads to highlight cyclists responsibilities too. Modes of behaviour have been affected in this way before with reasonable success.

Had one of those moments of sudden clarity a while back. Just after a very, close shave, was pumped up on the adrenaline that comes from a near death encounter. All of a sudden I realise that I am standing beside the offending car properly trying to punch my way through the drivers window. The driver, a middle aged ordinary looking bloke is trying to climb onto the passengers lap.

And everyone is looking at me with a mixture of shock, horror, and amazement.

I felt kind of ridiculous, so gave a kind of twisted smile and wave then buggered off pronto.
Analysing it later I really didn't remember what must have been a chase and capture in traffic. Then, once caught, what was I actually trying to do? I'm not particularly violent type so I doubt that I would have actually hurt Mr Ordinary had I punched through the window.
A worrying moment of madness.

Aggression would be worse. Ignorance can be worked on. For the life of me, I still can't see why there aren't a series of educational tv ads to ask drivers to modify their behaviour in relation to cyclists and even ads to highlight cyclists responsibilities too. Modes of behaviour have been affected in this way before with reasonable success.
TfL are planning something along these lines, a campaign to increase the empathy between cyclists and drivers. I hope it works better than the last attempt about 5 years ago that led to lots of "good advice" to cyclists about behaving better.

They need to hurry up about it.. it's seems all the fuckwits that went on holiday for the Olympics are back. Happy Days...

Had one of those moments of sudden clarity a while back. Just after a very, close shave, was pumped up on the adrenaline that comes from a near death encounter. All of a sudden I realise that I am standing beside the offending car properly trying to punch my way through the drivers window.

Had a similar episode in Manchester. Flash twat in a BMW cuts me up to turn into a parking space. I get a bit angry. He then continues to park forcing me to hop sideways a a bike way too big for me (borrowed from friend), while grining at me.

I explode and start punching the passenger side window screaming at him. He sits there looking quite smug, while I look a complete idiot.

So I bend to fuck out of one of his winscreen wipers, wink at him, and ride off.

Not my finest hour.

Wish I could remain calm and givea measured response, as above. Some absolute anchor on a moped took offence to me filtering through the traffic in front f him at lights (when he couldn't get through) and pulled up alongside me sayimg"next time |I'll knock you off your bike" and rode off, I shouted after him to FO. He screeched to a halt I rode past him, he came revving up next to me (all in full view of the traffic) and I braced myself but he rode off. C. U >N>>>>>>>>. I tried to catch up. All in all a crap start to yesterday, 75 parts fury, 25 parts oh sh***t - will need to work on my smart repartee.

I used to get so angry because I wouldn't do half of the things people do to cyclists even before I rode myself. Now I try and be polite and cival, its messes with peoples heads so bad. Nearly got wiped out by an ignorant woman driver rushing he son to the station, I arrived at the station all of 1 minute behind them and said to her as I went past "you can get a closer look now as I assume that is why you came so close to me back there". She saw red and responded with a whole heap of rage about how cyclists are the spawn of satan and shouldn't be on the road so I informed her that roads were around before the internal combustion engine and that bicycles were invented before the the car. I was then told to learn to drive by her son, I stated that I have held a full driving licence for over 5 years and that they should refrain from telling someone the rules of the road until they themselves are in possession of a driving licence, people at the station watching started laughing, I got called a pleasant name and they walked off mumbling under the breath while people carried on laughing at them.

Being polite messes with people as they instantly question if what they think is right, actually is.

Nearly got taken out yesterday by a taxi pulling a dick move (u-turn from opposite side of road and dive for curb on my side, no indicators) and was at a loss for words. Fortunately about 10 other cyclists and another taxi took the opportunity to hurl abuse through his open window. The righteous anger on someone else's behalf was quite interesting!

Chap infront of me riding home down Jamaica Road nearly died as a black souped-up Golf decided to do a last-minute non-indicated left turn across the bus lane into Mill Street. Damn nearly took out the rider so I gave him the finger (witty, I know) but he was probably too far down the street to notice/didn't care anyway.

Anyway, the rider and I had a nice chat about it as we met at the lights, which was nice. Apparently his almost-last-ever-thought was "shit, I'm going to die" - apt, given that he was

I shouldn't, but I always enjoy these stories:

http://www.wwgazette.co.uk/2012/10/road-rage-cyclist-punched-motorist-police-appeal/

"An 18-year-old man was punched in the face by a cyclist in Titchfield in an unprovoked road rage attack."

Unprovoked?
http://imageshack.us/a/img339/3439/orlyindian.jpg

"The victim was a passenger in his friend’s Peugeot 106 car travelling along Southampton Hill in the direction of Park Gate when the incident happened at about 5pm last Thursday (October 18)."

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-pf12fbgsUJc/Tu0cFABB8TI/AAAAAAAAXqM/Qg114H_VRTM/s1600/uh_huh_unh_uh_mug-p168666456183888713zvhsb_400.jpg

"They came across a cyclist who was in the middle of the carriageway as they approached the St Margaret’s Lane roundabout.
Having shouted at the cyclist to move out of the way, the motorists then stopped at the roundabout and the cyclist pulled up alongside them and started banging on the passenger side window.
The window smashed and the suspect then punched the victim causing his nose to bleed."

http://cdn.new.buzznet.com/assets/imgx/1/1/5/0/0/5/9/1/orig-11500591.jpg

"The suspect is described as:
White man"

The occupants of the car are described as:
Utter cunts

“This incident appears to be an unprovoked attack on a teenager and his friend’s car which has left both feeling shaken.

sounds legit

Also peugeot 106, obvious scals.

Saying that, punching the cry was a probably uncalled for, but hey we only know one side

Chuck Norris would have eaten them both and the car.