What are you afraid of whilst cycling

hat hair, moths and lorries.

i did get a greenfly stuck in my eye the other day, couldn't rub my eye to get it out as i wear contacts. got home, forgetting about it, only to see that it's curled up dead body was covered in goo stuck to the side of my nose. well attractive.

Getting caught out by toe overlap and the front of my foot getting caught in the front spokes catapulting me onto my face in rush hour and fucking up my front wheel.

I'm scared of women who wear skimpy clothes as its very distracting and can be fatal!

lorry

Old women who live in gingerbread houses in the woods.

Not being able to unclip quick enough at a junction and slowly toppling over into oncoming traffic.

Old women who live in gingerbread houses in the woods.
true and frightening

premature ejacu................oh wrong thread

I have a morbid fear of my stem snapping and being left hurtling along like some Harold Lloyd / Laurel & Hardy movie with my bars separate from my bike.

I somehow pulled a quill stem out while riding at speed once. I didn't fall over or anything so I just carried on riding trying to figure out what to do (I was brakless and I thought that if I tried to slow down the front wheel would turn enough to hit my foot and I'd go down). I settled for trying to put the stem back in and tighten it up but I fell off while I was getting my multitool out.

#csb

getting my multitool out = not a euph

After having my front wheel slip out going round a corner on Camden Road this morning, the fear that such a thing could happen in the middle of nowhere on a long ride.
It was a relatively slow spill (~10-15mph), no great impact but I couldn't even stand up afterwards, felt nauseous and couldn't see!
Had to sit down for about 15 minutes until I felt better, then when I stood up I nearly collapsed and had to sit back down again.
I'm putting it down to shock and adrenaline - adrenaline levels were already up after some c-unit had been driving aggressively and doing close undertakes for the 2 previous sets of lights.
Being suddenly unable to stand up or see is a bit scary.

I'm scared of women who wear skimpy clothes as its very distracting and can be fatal!

This! I saw a guy on a motorbike nearly run over an old woman because he was busy looking at someone* wearing skimpy clothes. Luckily he looked back to the road just in time and emergency stopped half a meter away from her, but it was very, very close.

*me

So I guess I fear causing an accident by wearing skimpy clothing while cycling, and having to live with the guilt forever.

if only you did not cut the sleeves off every t-shirt you own

Lasse and Suchi are crocheting the ghost miniskirt even as we speak.

looking directly at the rider in front's butt-crack sweat patch

that my forks will shear off when braking from speed and embed in the road catapualting me face first onto the road and under a following bus.

that i won't be able to clip in first time round and will look a bit of a dick whilst cycling drunkenly away from a crowd of fellow forumengers outside a south london pub after an impromptu forum piss up.

that corny will fall off for no obvious reason. again.

Things i am afraid of while cycling.

1 Drivers sending text messages
2 Lorrys watching laptops
3 Wasps ( i have been stung 3 times in the head in the last few years
4 People just walking out in front of me while i am going 25mph+
5 Kids shooting at me with an air rifle as i go past.
6 Dogs attacking me while riding
7 Feeling that the whole world hates cyclists
8 Old drivers ( i have been mowed down twice by drivers who are 70+)

I think riding a bike is like being on the set of Mad Max

Busting my face into tiny pieces.

Whoops!

^ fuck me!!!! that looks sore, how did you manage that? hope you get well soon bud...

Fisheries officers

dumb drivers.

Cycling back home with a mate, he was telling me about the time a wasp got caught in his ear, trapped under his hair. Not a minute after we split off, a hear a 'bzzzzzZZZZZZ-THUMPBZZZZFFTFTTTFFFFZZZZZZ' as one of the stripy bastards flew straight into my lughole.

So, wasps. As a rule I don't trust anything with more limbs than me.