Any question answered...

Can't help who you like but you can help who you go after. She may "need some time to think" but the fact that she is saying this while kissing you with the "dickhead ex" sounding to be so recently in the past likely means that she misses the comfort of being in a relationship, and the sex, or at least enjoys the emotional boost that kissing you gives but is not able to give you more than that right now.

Alas I only found out about these issues after heading down the relationship road, but had I known I'm not sure it'd have stopped me.

The ex left her late last year so I'm hoping she's already had a lot of time, and that will help.

Right now I'm not desperate for a full-on relationship either - I've told her that it doesn't matter to me if she wants to really take her time and she doesn't have to put any kind of label on it - but the fact that she's growing closer to me is what's scaring her. I'm happy to carry on and just give her the time and support to work it out.

For now I've asked one of her good friends - a platonic male friend, which I think is a good call - to maybe try talking her around... subtly! Besides that I figure I just give her lots of space and hopefully she'll realise that she's happier with me around. Fingers crossed!