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@TheorySwine
Gok Wan should front a new reality TV bike show, with Mary Portas as roving reporter. Both have impeccable taste and so could guide us through the selection-minefield. The Hairy Bikers could slum it under pedal power and cook stodgy cakes, while Brix Smith-Start whines about once being the guitarist with The Fall, in between explaining her reasons for being prone to daft elaborate dressing, sticking with 'Smith' as the prefix to her continued double-barrelled surname despite divorce from the great Mark E Smith years ago, and her obsession with social-climbing. Viewing figures would be crap, and Channel 5 would never recover. Evans would prevail, like we all feared it would. A royal new-media back-slap.