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  • Freddie would have wanted it that way. A rusting hulk to his victories, staring at prissy london hipsters with disdain as they shuffle the 300m commute on their colour co-ordinated cunt-wagons to the local cafe to sip soya lattes and update their couple-lifestyle-pissrag-blog.

    To remove it would be to cut his heart then shit in the open wound whilst looking him in the eyes and licking a picture of eddy merckx.

    Look at this man. Look at his face.

    He doesn't want your lavender-scented fingers touching his fucking bike. He wants you to let it rust back into the earth before you get to consume it a teaspoon at a time.

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