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@commie
My wife has become very insecure in her middle age.
"I'm so jealous of you," she said. "You're still good looking and full of confidence."
"Don't be silly," I replied. "It should be me who is jealous of you."
"Really?" she asked, as her face lit up.
"Of course," I said. "You get to be married to me. I'm stuck with a fat arsed, miserable bitch."