Running

Yes, but it's a bit like saying you've set a world record in training. It doesn't count.

Kris, it was a close call. The toilet facilities were oversubscribed. But: Poor Paula. Our greatest distance runner, still holder of the women's marathon record, and all people want to talk about is shit down her leg.

Really though, in long distance events you're only racing against yourself unless you're in the top ten so if they genuinely fncked the distance, you know you've achieved it and thats all that counts, i haven't been online to see any of my previous race results, i know what i did and if anyone asks i'll tell them the truth.

THat doesn't help me when the 'relatively' unfit guy I sit next to has a faster official half marathon time than me despite the fact it un a faster one than him every weekend and have done for some months now....

• the fact he spent a week self injecting with EPO prior to doing a half apparently doesn't count
  
  

Also didn't paula have a wee rather than take a dump?