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@Cornish_Bike
Hmm, this ?
Dear Sir / Madame, please find enclosed one pair of trousers with approximately 9" ripped from the bottom of each leg. I wish to take you up on your free repair service post accident / crash damage. The enclosed trousers were damaged due to the following :
It was a cold windy Thursday evening and was riding home from a long day at the office. I had purchased enclosed garment only 4 days prior at your most excellent sample sale on the lane of bricks. I bought them in a 34" waist due to the fact that I have a rather large arse, I often find that trousers do not fit properly due to the extra strain a large posterior puts on the fabric, thus creating a tightening across the thighs. Its a family trait passed down on my fathers side, he played allot of football as a kid and I think a large arse was actually a good thing for him (see Alan Shearer or Mark Hughes). I digress, I was cycling home in the trousers along Parkhill Road. About 2/3rd's of the way along the road is a small sections of wood's, as I approached the woods a deer bolted across the road causing me to swerve into the gutter. I was travelling at approximately 55mph (bloody Strava) just prior to the incident, upon hitting the curb I was thrown over my bars where the right leg of my trouser was slashed by my brake lever, this in turn propelled the bike 360 degrees landing on my left leg and slashing the bottom 9" of this also. I would like you to note at this point that the smell emanating from the trousers is due to a large dog turd on the pavement. I was in no way responsible for that mess,
If possible could you cut them down to a 32" leg as I currently have my legs calipers (Zero G's i'll have you know) due to the multiple fractures suffered.
Your Loyal Servant.....
Keep the Prices Up