Where are all the cool single guys in London?

Ha!
But some of them are actually mine - things I'd do, as I;m more house trained than my wife.
No half eaten stuff left behind, no banana peels on top of my books, no half eaten packets of nuts left in the cupboard ("remember to buy mixed nuts!"), telfon frying pans which are not scratched with a knife, no rugs drying on my bikes, no more hundreds of bottles of half used shampoo cluttering the bathroom,
no hair in the washing machine, no fake nails in the washing machine or bed, full access to the walk in wardrobe, no fake tan or mascara on my pillow, no more hidden platform fucking high heel shoes spread all over the floor I always step on when I want a piss in the middle of the night, no more Jeremy Kyle, no more recorded episodes of Celebrity Big brother, X Factor, You can fucking dance etc. cluttering the hard disc of my Sky box....
I know I shouldn't laugh Kris but I couldn't help smile reading this vitriolic post.