Where are all the cool single guys in London?

This is what I can't understand... I don't watch ANY reality tv, I have one shampoo bottle, a unisex type of shower gel, I like football, and sex, I'm relatively tidy, let guys choose music, have a dishwasher, cook edible meals, rarely drink when going out (so you have a taxi service), don't wear fake tan, no false nails, always match up socks before putting them away, and I'm SINGLE.

People don't know these things about each other until they actualy try and live together.