Where are all the cool single guys in London?

This is what I can't understand... I don't watch ANY reality tv, I have one shampoo bottle, a unisex type of shower gel, I like football, and sex, I'm relatively tidy, let guys choose music, have a dishwasher, cook edible meals, rarely drink when going out (so you have a taxi service), don't wear fake tan, no false nails, always match up socks before putting them away, and I'm SINGLE.

Yeah, but ... do you ride a bike? ;)