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  • WankyPeadoah: How big is my home planet?

    The circumference of the earth used to be measured using black ocelots harvested from the jaws of death, but accuracy was a bit off. in 1890 Sir Bagwan De Pooklerumper Smythe a French aristocrat of questionable birth devised a unique method using only Irish emigrants trousers. By 1960 however the Larger Hellride Colostomy was dug around the perifery of Patterson mountain [a previously private redidence of the Marquis De Rich] 500 Cubits long, the Coloster gave accuracies of nearlt 20% more acuracte thean the previous precision of the Trouser now superseded by the Massive Hairy Arsehole [MHA] a scientific instrument where coffee costs less that light.
    Circumference of earth = £350.

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