Where are all the cool single guys in London?

there's some bollocks up there ^(some^^^, not balks or velocio or scoot...)

trying to be nice, or trying to be a dick, are both fails. if you gotta try and be someone else to make it work, it won't work. stop pretending, you might find someone who likes you.

Except chances are being yourself is what's keeping you single, try being someone better.

(that's the general "you", not having a go at you specifically hoefla.)