Ways not to lock your bike

well it's nice and all, but is it art?

pretty sure that last one is actually flawless locking technique - 100% guaranteed not gonna be stolen

This one turned up on Twitter...

Well, at least the lock is unlikely to be jacked, and it won't fall over...

Yeah, but boozy townies aren't going to resist the temptation to stomp that front wheel.

It's an ugly world out there...

Plus, saddle angle
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

fixed.

look fine.

This one turned up on Twitter...

I think that's valid if those lampposts are your only anchor point and you have a d-lock.

I've done it many times in the past.

most of these bikes are making me feel sick

not looking hard enough james

so you go to the trouble of removing your wheel and then lock the spokes, not to mention not going through the back wheel too. this was near chalk farm. own up if it's you...

bicycle

^clearly a Nursery evader. Nothing good to say hmm?

A beauty. Just outside Empire Square in Borough.

1 Attachment

That's a corker!

Is that meant to match a brooks saddle?

I mean... Really?
Plus, saddle angle

Couple of years back when I worked for Hackney Council I was up a tree with a collegue in the old Haggerston Estate(before it got flattened for more shite hipster flats), 2 bike police were berating a couple of the local yoots who were sat on the steps having a quiet smoke watching us work. The police got off their bikes and had them on the kickstand right next to the door to the block. While they were chatting 2 more yoots came out of the door and quietly and calmly got on the bikes and rode off. Took the popo at least 10 seconds to notcie their bikes had gone from less than 5ft away from where they were stood. Cue 2 lycra clad cops running in completely the wrong direction looking rather sheepish.
They returned 5 mins later empty handed and had a go at us for not shouting out when it happened. Shrugged shoulders and stiffled giggles. Got a smoke off the yoots after the law trudged away.
#coolstorybro

That is a cool story bra! What was your job? Tree surgeon or council marmoset?

Squirrel hunter*

Not really, was a tree surgeon.

This girl's actually stuck in Covent Garden right now as somebody has locked their bike to hers:

https://twitter.com/#!/Jude_Burke/status/159292179754401792/photo/1

^Someone who is on Twatter should let her know how easy that cable is to cut.

Current suggestion is to buy a replacement lock, cut this one off, lock up the other bike with the new lock and take the key leaving a note to not lock other people's bikes up.

And smear a bit of poo on the handlebars, obviously?

Someone once did this to me, around my (only) brake cable. Had to disconnect the brake and couldn't get it back together. Hello brakeless. I was not bouyed by the fact that I had locked it outside hospital, going in to get a final checkup on a bicycle accident broken elbow.